birthday – Promoting Passion

29 Is A Magical Number

brookeshaden — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 17:47:25 +0000

Here is the thing about having a birthday. It makes you re-evaluate yourself on the most basic level and contemplate the way you exist. Well, maybe not for a 5-year-old, but certainly for my now-29-year-old-self. I’ve been looking forward to this number for a long time. When I was little I used to ask my grandmother how old she was, and she would always answer with 29. No matter how old she was, or when I asked, her answer was always “29”. From that young age I idolized Age 29. I thought it was the epitome of greatness. I thought, since it was the age she chose to be stuck at forever, that it would hold special magical powers.

Now that I’ve hit that milestone, I know it to be true. It does hold magical powers. The most magical of all. And it has nothing to do with the age. It has everything to do with my connection to myself, who I wan to be, and who I am. You see, my grandmother was the most special person to me. She was my best friend, my confidant, and the person I wanted to tell all my secrets to. I lost her when I was 13, and it was the most profoundly moving experience for me. And I thought, when she passed away, that when I’m 29 I will understand her.

And I think I do. I think I understand what it means to be me. And that is, in turn, understanding her. It is important. It is meaningful. It is what she would have wanted for me.

I spent my birthday with no expectations, and that is one of the biggest lessons I have learned. I have learned to stop expecting things from the world, and to begin expecting everything from myself. I am in control. I make goodness manifest in my life. I do not expect handouts from the world anymore. I woke up on my birthday and kissed my husband and cuddled my cats and I felt Home. I went to my studio and photographed an image I’ve been planning for 8 months, and I felt Alive. I was surprised by my best friend with balloons, and I felt Loved. I got a card from my parents and texts from my friends, and I felt Appreciated. I woke up at sunrise and watched the rays of the sun peak through the trees, turning the world from deep blue to golden yellow, and I felt Connected. I blew out the candles we put in my vegan cake, and I felt Magical.

What more can a person ask for? I’ve had great birthdays before, but always it was dependent on what others did for me, not what I did for myself. This year a shift has happened. I have accepted my responsibility. Maybe that is what it means to be grown – to be responsible for your own happiness.

I am blessed with many ambitious friends, many of whom are a bit older than myself, and for years I’ve heard their declarations of what they will have accomplished by age 30. I thought that when I entered the final year of my 20’s I would feel that urgency to produce, to be great, to be adored. But I find just the opposite. There is peace in knowing that presence in small moments, appreciation in small successes, and love for all things is more important than competition, achievement, and praise.

This past year I changed the way I work, the work I produce, and the way I live my life day to day. Everything has shifted for me. I began a yoga practice, making my health so much better. I was walking with a cane for months, and now, no more. I began a gratitude practice, and this has helped me better understand others and my own toxic thoughts. I have begun working more meaningfully, actively ridding myself of expectation, pressure, and competition.

I can see why my grandmother loved age 29, and I’m starting to think it wasn’t just because it sounded better than 30 to her. What a blessing to be able to see with such clarity, to appreciate yourself in your fullness, and to look forward with peaceful joy in all of life’s opportunities. I know that this feeling can be fleeting, that it might not be for everyone, and might come at different milestones for different people. But for the child in me that has waited all these years to meet my grandmother at 29, I welcome this moment and give her the hug I never got to when I was 13. 29 looks good on us.

Promoting Passion Week 61: Birthday Reflections

brookeshaden — Mon, 09 Mar 2015 15:17:28 +0000

Last week was my birthday. I love birthdays. It is a chance to celebrate someone when, so often, we fail to do so. To be honest my husband and I don’t celebrate birthdays much. We say that we celebrate each other all the time, so there is no real need. But nonetheless, I love birthdays because of how reflective they make us. We think about our lives in terms of years, and we often find a way to define a certain year of our lives. For example, when I think of being 21, I think of it as a huge, life-changing age. I got married, graduated from college, moved across the country, and discovered photography. Big year! When I think of 26, I think of how I bought my first home. When I think of 16, I think about meeting the love of my life.

But aside from reflecting on the things we’ve done, it is a chance to start anew. It is a chance to evaluate if you really are the person you want to be, or if you need to change something. For me, there is always something to change. The only question is what I am going to change. I spent the last year of my life changing course. I stopped doing a lot of the things I had done before – business and personal – and laid the foundation for a new life. This year, I am living it. Year 28 will be one of discovering my dreams. Dreaming bigger. Dreaming in my own way. Letting dreams define me.

I emailed someone the other day about a big project I’m working on. His response was “This is an absolutely crazy idea”. And that made my heart soar with joy. “Yes,” I thought, “that is the kind of life I want to live.”

Getting older means learning lessons. It means failing miserably. It means succeeding wildly. It means changing perspective on life. And this is what it has meant to me:

1. Failing is winning for those willing to try hard.

2. Life cannot be quantified in years. If I died right now, I will have lived the best life possible. This I can say with absolute confidence and love.

3. I would rather be crazy than boring. After all, I am the only one I can count on to entertain myself.

4. Not everything will work out, because if it did, we wouldn’t be able to see the gems through the dust.

5. There is never an excuse for boredom.

6. Being present in all that you do means you will never feel like life has passed you by.

7. Being genuine will get you farther than attempting to please people.

8. When you refuse to compromise your beliefs, you attract like-minded people into your life.

9. If you treat failure like an old friend, he will always be there to help you back up when he knocks you down.

10. Kindness should never be dependent on someone else’s actions.

11. Fears are friends wearing masks. Get close enough to see the face of fear.

12. Give your love without need for reciprocation. Receive love like you deserve it.

13. The words “best” and “worst” should never be used to describe someone. We will only look foolish when we are proved wrong.

14. Tell someone why you love them.

15. Live your life to make someone else’s life better.

16. Look forward to each day you grow older. The alternative is death.

17. If you build a community, take care of that community.

18. Dream as though it will happen.

What I have learned this past year can be summed up in these words: Love wholly. Give repeatedly. Create selfishly. Challenge yourself regularly. Live beautifully.

Goodnight, 27.

Good morning, 28.

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If you would like to send along a birthday gift (trust me, this is not a crazy narcissist sentence…) you can donate to the Fibromyalgia awareness campaign I have running, create an image with a butterfly to raise awareness, or join me on May 9 for the Caterpillar Walk. Alternately, you can donate photo equipment for the photography school I am starting in India for survivors of human trafficking – The Light Space. Signing up for the new After Dark conference will help donate to the school. Or simply check out my Giving Back page for ways to get involved.

Promoting Passion Video Blog: How Old Are You?

brookeshaden — Mon, 03 Mar 2014 15:15:04 +0000

The age old question of how old someone is has always seemed to be a driving force in how we judge someone. If they are young, they have an excuse; If they are old, they do not. If they are young, they are marvelous for doing something with their life. If they are old, they are expected to have already done something with their life. If someone is old, they are wise, and if someone is young, they have much to learn.

There are so many different connotations that go along with asking someone’s age, and a lot of it has to do with different ways that we ourselves perceive age. What someone should have done or not done by a certain age is only fact in our minds because of the life we have lived. But everyone is different.

So no matter how old you were when you discovered your passion, or if you haven’t discovered it yet, that is of no consequence. What matters is how passionately you go after your dreams and how much you believe in yourself, age aside. Because whether you are very young or very old, or somewhere in between, like me, you have every right to chase your desires. The only time age is an issue is when we make it one.

So, I had a birthday. And I happen to adore birthdays. Not so much the celebrating of them with a party and a cake (though I do love cake…) but more the idea that life moves forward and with each passing moment I learn something new about it. I love celebrating life and how wonderful it is to be here. I am so grateful for it.

The question of age comes up very often for me. When I am speaking somewhere or teaching or exhibiting, one thing that everyone seems to want to put in the introduction is how old I am. I’m not sure why there is a preoccupation with age, but to me, it is irrelevant. We are as old as our imaginations.

So when someone asks me how old I am, I want to respond with this simple statement:

I am old enough to know right from wrong.
Old enough to know love.
Old enough to have a business.

I am young enough to chase my dreams.
Young enough to believe my dreams can come true.
Young enough to understand my imagination.

Numbers mean so little. So while I could sit here and tell you that I am now 27 years old, it doesn’t mean anything. What matters more is impossible to put into words, let alone numbers. What matters is how we embrace who we are, our imaginations, and our dreams. Old or young, everyone deserves that much.

birthday – Promoting Passion

29 Is A Magical Number

Promoting Passion Week 61: Birthday Reflections

Promoting Passion Video Blog: How Old Are You?

How old (or young) do you feel?