My third shoot of the series consisted of an impossibly heavy bathtub, 50lbs of wax, and an epic 4 hour long scrub afterwards.

When I started conceiving of the series which would turn into “Fourth Wall”, I was enamored with textures. I wanted there to be a great mixture of various textures that would each have a different feel to them. I wanted the viewer to feel as though he or she could reach in to the image and touch different layers. I wanted the walls to feel grungy, the yarn to be fuzzy, the wax to be cracked and smooth. I had so many ideas for textures, but the image that struck me as having the most potential was this one.

I was initially going to shoot this image with a black floor so that the wax would stand out even more. However, after testing it that way, I decided I couldn’t give up the natural texture of the original hardwood floors. Fun fact: I shot the series in a studio, but that studio was actually a room in an abandoned high school that has since been turned into artist studios…in a semi-abandoned ghost town, no less.

I began searching for wax that didn’t use any animal products and finally settled on soy wax, as I read that it is safe to touch skin. The hunt for the bathtub was easy; the practicality of getting it up to my second floor studio was not. I had recently finished hauling 800lbs of sand up the stairs, so not only were my legs and arms sore, I had no faith in my (or my friends) ability to lift this bathtub. I hired a couple of vets to do the lifting and they were amazing. Even those two burly men had the time of their lives trying to maneuver the tub up the stairs. After about an hour the ordeal was done (until it was time to haul it out).

Once the bathtub was in place, the wax was ordered and I had finished my testing to see what the wax would dry like and if it was safe to put on my skin, I asked my friend to come model for the image. In these situations, where you are asking someone to do something completely insane, I feel you must turn to friends first.

Several challenges presented themselves. First, the wax took some time to dry and I had to apply it in layers. Therefore, my model had to sit in the bathtub in the same position for roughly 2 hours as I continuously heated the wax, filled a pitcher, poured it, and waited for it to dry. It was a difficult process, and throughout she was getting hotter and hotter as her body heat was trapped under the warm wax. I rolled a pillow and put it under her back for support, but eventually she had to try and fall asleep to forget about the difficulty of staying still and waiting.

Another challenge was how slippery everything became. The floor was slippery, the tub was slippery, and eventually my hands felt like slick stumps. Many towels were used that day to try and remedy the situation. I put fabric over her eyes to protect her when it came time to “wax” her face. Her hair stuck to the tub when I poured it through her hair.

I remember when we were ready to shoot I finally climbed my ladder and looked down at her and the pattern the wax had created. I was filled with that amazing feeling when something you have planned for looks exactly as you had hoped. The wax was an important tool for me to communicate with. I felt it so perfectly portrayed the feeling of being trapped – stagnant, unmoving, timeless. It only took a few clicks to know it was right, especially since she couldn’t move!

I will never forget that day. We took turns holding fans over her to cool her and the wax down faster. We took turns feeding her to keep her energy up. And when I finished and it was time to get her out of the tub, I will never forget the difficulty of peeling her hair off of the side of the bathtub. When she stood up her hair made a right angle and moved perpendicular to her neck. Her hair was stiff as a board and sticking straight off of her head. I wrapped her in my best Doctor Who robe and we went out to the bathrooms. Can you imagine the sight she was to behold?

After some time scrubbing it was clear that we needed much more than a sink. She spent 4 hours that night in my bathtub trying to get the wax off. With some baking soda and dish detergent the job eventually was won, and I had a picture I was truly elated about.

This has been the most interesting piece to display because of how people feel about it. I have heard many reactions that have been quite negative to it, and I understand that entirely. It is overtly creepy and has a definite sexual nature to it (in many intended ways). But that is what I love about creating. It isn’t for praise but for conversation. Differing opinions. I am grateful that this piece could do that.

I hope you enjoy this new series which is on display and represented by the JoAnne Artman Gallery until February 18th. It is showing in New York City (Chelsea).

Very limited editions. Each print is offered at 42×42 inches with an edition of 2, and 8×8 inches with an edition of 3.

You may contact the gallery for purchase requests. Each print has been proofed, signed, and numbered by me, and comes with a certificate of authenticity.

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Photographed with a Sony a7ii and a 25mm Zeiss lens.

Model: KD Stapleton

Assistance: Kelly McGrady

It started in a grocery store.

For months I had been dreaming of this image. In my mind I saw a woman in it with long silvery hair. I looked into buying wigs but was holding out to find just the right person. I looked on local modeling and agency websites but just couldn’t find the perfect fit. Until…

I was grocery shopping in my small town store, perusing the veggies as I am fond of doing, when I looked up and saw a woman with the most perfect long, gray hair. I looked at my husband and without saying any of what I was thinking, he said, “YES”. I am such a shy person that I battled with myself for a moment before going over. I rehearsed what I would say and my face kept turning red, but eventually, with some gentle nudging, I walked over to my mystery silver-haired lady.

I introduced myself awkwardly as she looked a little bit confused. She was hesitant to take part in the series for good reason. Here I was – looking particularly hippie-ish that day – approaching a stranger in a grocery store to model for a fine art series I was creating. I didn’t even have any examples to show yet of what it would be. Heck, I wasn’t even sure if it would work out. But I took the leap, and gave her my information, and left without a yes or no. She said she would look at my website and get back to me.

A little while later a glowing email appeared in my inbox. She had written me. My mystery grocery store woman! And she said yes. She said she felt a connection to what I was doing and was happy to model for me. I told her we’d make it a special shoot on my birthday and I prepared to make sure everything was absolutely ready for her arrival.

Preparing for this image turned out to be a hilarious task. Step one was to find a bed, which I found fairly quickly online for a good price. The problem? It was too tall. So, myself, my husband, and my friend got to work sawing the legs off the bed so that it would sit lower to the ground.

Next, I had to find a mattress. I am two things: stubborn and frugal. So, not wanting to spend money and desiring an already yucky mattress, I opted for a mattress that had been thrown out behind a mattress store. It was filthy, disgusting, stinky, moldy…everything awful. And yes, I am entirely aware of how incredibly stupid it is to pick a mattress off the street. Nonetheless, I did it. And aside from spreading mold to the floors and walls and potentially contracting some unknown rash, I was fine. Feel free to strike that last sentence from your memory. I know my friend has, who was so opposed to this idea I thought she would throw herself from my moving car. She came around, though. Here is said friend actually laying on the mattress for a test shot. Oh, the things we do for friendship!

Once the bed and mattress were obtained it was time to get sand. I insisted that we drive to some sand dunes about 5 hours from my house. I wanted authentic sand. I wanted the real deal. I wanted to be able to say: I GATHERED THAT SAND WITH MY OWN TWO HANDS IN THE HOT DESERT SUN! So that is what I did, sort of.

When I got to the sand dunes temperatures were reaching 120 degrees Fahrenheit. I get very sick in hot temperatures so I was already fading the moment we arrived. I couldn’t pull my car close to the dunes so we had to resort to walking up the dunes with trash bags and dragging them back to the car. This proved to be a physically taxing process, as the bags were very heavy and the sun was very hot. We were burning fast.

After about eight trash bags full of sand I decided I had reached my limit, and I left feeling slightly defeated. The day, however, was memorable and amazingly fun. I will never forget the onlookers thinking we were bonkers for trying to drag sand back to my car.

The rest of the sand I got from my favorite store (NOT) – Home Depot. All together it totaled 800lbs of sand. I reserved my beautiful sand dune sand for the top layer so that it would look yellow and smooth compared to the manufactured stuff. It was important to me that the sand be authentic because that sand came from hundreds upon thousands of years of breakdown and decay. I loved the idea that it would be even more held in history through a photograph.

It also served to further the idea of the image – time passing yet feeling trapped in it as well. It moves so quickly, and yet we are held in place by the fear of missing something. The spine – a whole other story in itself – was placed to show the decay that happens to us all, and to everything. The rotting bed was being taken over by death. The long, silvery hair that I so longed for helped to tell the story of a person who has been so stagnant that even her hair is growing into the scene.

I got asked many times at the Fourth Wall show opening if I manipulated the model’s hair to have a blue cast. I did not. Because of the color balance of the sand, anything neutral, including the walls and mattress, naturally had a blue hue to them even though they were all gray. I loved the effect and kept it in the final image.

When the day to shoot came, it was a beautiful one. The sun was shining, it was warm out, and my beautiful grocery store model even brought me hand crafted jewelry for my birthday. Since the setup was finished when she arrived we got to work shooting, which was faster than the first image in the series, and before I knew it I had my birthday wish – an image that I loved. I found it so fitting that I should shoot this image about time passing on my 29th birthday.

I hope you enjoy this new series which is on display and represented by the JoAnne Artman Gallery until February 18th. It is showing in New York City (Chelsea).

Very limited editions. Each print is offered at 42×42 inches with an edition of 2, and 8×8 inches with an edition of 3.

You may contact the gallery for purchase requests. Each print has been proofed, signed, and numbered by me, and comes with a certificate of authenticity.

—

Photographed with a Sony a7ii and a 25mm Zeiss lens.

Model: SLC

Assistance: Kelly McGrady