Last year I had the idea to start filming music videos, whether someone hired me or not. I thought it would be an interesting medium to work in and since I have a film background, why not! I have shot two since then but they are still being edited, so I will share when they are finished. For my last video shoot we filmed underwater, and I grabbed a few stills while we were at it!

Shooting underwater is always wrought with challenges, but this shoot proved very simple in some regards. I rented a black bottom pool that was truly very dark, so editing the background and making the subject stand out became easy. I had an amazing model to work with, Sara Silkin, who is also a dancer and choreographer. She could move like nobody’s business under that water! And to boot, it was an overcast, rainy day in Los Angeles, so the light was wonderfully diffused.

The downside? It was COLD. That water was some of the coldest I have ever been in. Our model was turning a range of blue to purple to black, and so we could only shoot for a few minutes at a time with an hour in between to get warmed up again. It was extremely tough on my body and I definitely paid for it the next few days, but it was so worth it. I hope you enjoy the images!

Do you have a favorite?

Have you dabbled in underwater photography?

I went into the trip with a great sense of adventure. I’ve rarely been camping before, let alone in Iceland. I had no idea how to work a motorhome. I didn’t know how to navigate the land or if the beautiful sights I wanted to see were actually where Google maps insisted. But I was going with friends, no obligation to anyone except to have fun and lead as best I could. And so I did, and we did, and it was the most grand adventure I could ever have hoped for.

I’ll share more about the trip in due time, but for now, let’s talk about this instantly heart-throbbing place that I was able to shoot at. It is called Glacier Bay, or in Iceland: Jokulsarlon. It is a popular tourist attraction, but we managed to arrive late and do our photographing late, so that when I finally got into the water, it was midnight. The tourists had gone and we had full reign of the space to photograph as we wished. With the light never fully going away in an Icelandic summer, we were able to be with this space as long as we wanted.

I had anticipated our arrival at Glacier Bay, so much so that before I left on my trip I went on a journey for a wet suit. When I finally spoke to someone knowledgable about cold water, I was laughed at profusely and told that I needed a dry suit. That was going to set me back at least $400. And I just couldn’t justify that kind of money for a single shot with the glaciers. So instead, I opted for a much cheaper yet far colder option: waders. You know, the kind that fishermen might use. Plastic or rubber pants that go over your pants to keep the water out. The important thing for me was to stay dry, and my $15 waders did the job.

I put on several layers of pants and then put the waders over top of that and strapped the suspenders around my shoulders. Then, I put the costume dress over top of that and started making my way into the water. Just because spring had sprung in Iceland does not mean that it was warm, by any standards. The temperatures were often sitting at about freezing, or lower in the night as this was shot, but I didn’t care about that. All I wanted was to get in, get out, and get my personal souvenir. Just before I got in the water, someone told me that whales swim through this part looking for seals. At first I tried to put that out of my mind, since I have a huge fear of whales, but I found myself thinking about it as I got in the water, wanting to be more graceful in my movements as I imagined myself an animal amongst that alien, beautiful landscape.

While in the water my waders only leaked very slightly, causing one sock to go damp on the bottom, but nothing more. I did my image, got out and checked it, and then decided to go in again to get a little bit closer to my camera. The water was about waist high (thigh-high on a normal-sized person), which was perfect for what I had been hoping to achieve. I wanted to create a sad story of a woman giving herself to nature, wading into the freezing waters to become frozen in time, just as this place had seemed to me. I caught the image of the bird while shooting there in that spot and had to use it. They say in filmmaking that when someone is exiting the frame to the left, they are going toward their past, and when exiting to the right, they are moving toward the future. I had the bird going backward as to stop time altogether, our heroine stuck in time, frozen there in a dream, and only a single soul closing the curtain on her future.

When I finished my self-portrait I got back in the water to model for my friends, where I waded as gracefully as I could (while avoiding jagged rocks), dipping my arms into the water and allowing my back to give way so that I might look more like the ice that surrounded me. I stayed in the water for a total of about 10 minutes and afterwards needed an army to bring me back to warmth. My dear friends all helped, pulling the waders off of me, putting shoes back on, draping me in coats and giving me a hot water bottle. It was like heaven. It was painfully cold, uncomfortable, and a moment I will never forget. I swam amongst souls frozen in time, huge pieces of ice floating peacefully, others breaking off into the water and rushing toward the ocean, a moment fleeting and forgotten or never seen at all, save for our eyes that night in the darkest of all hours, capturing our version of paradise.

When I was little I told my dad I wanted to be a writer, and he let me write.

When I was little I wanted to make movies in Hollywood, and my parents showed me how to apply to film school.

When I was little I thought I’d try photography, and so I took some creepy pictures of myself in my bedroom.

When I was little I wanted to be a fairytale character, so I got some cheap dresses, dyed my hair red, and pranced around in a forest.

When I was little I decided I wanted to be one with nature, so I made myself into a tree.

When I grow up I want to be little, because when you’re little you believe that everything is possible.

When I grow up I want to live my dreams and always believe they can be real.

When I grow up I want to play make-believe every day and imagine myself as the main character in wonderful stories.

When I grow up I want my childhood values to follow me everywhere I go.

When I grow up I’ll see the world and color it with my vision of beauty.

Right now I am little and I am grown, I am nothing without my imagination and everything because of it. I am moving forward and looking back and taking my life experiences everywhere I go. I am the creator of my own little world, the character in the story of my life, and I remember the little girl who wanted to be a writer and a filmmaker and a storyteller and I remember the grown up who wanted to be a photographer and an educator and I say thank you. Thank you to little me for dreaming and to my parents for encouraging and to grown up me for listening.

We are what we believe we are.
What are you?