This was a year of extreme breakthrough for me on many levels. Professionally, I learned what I don’t want to do anymore and what I want to do more of. Cosmically (sure, why not), I learned where my position is in this life and how to better ascertain that (spoiler: it’s wherever I desire it to be). Creatively, I finally brought together ideas I’ve had brewing for nearly a year (more on that later). I learned these lessons by committing to one simple directive:

Pursue your PASSION and pursue it WELL.

Think about people who you think are really talented, who attract people to them, who really have that special something. Now imagine that person doing something other than what you know them for. Do you naturally assume they will also be good at that thing? I certainly do. Take Tim Burton, for example. I think he is a mastermind director. I had no idea he was also a sketch artist. And you know what? I think it’s brilliant work. The reason for this is simple: he is not talented because he found the one thing he is good at. He is talented because he has a vision and he is smart enough to apply that to anything he pursues.

The people who I admire are not talented or naturally good at one thing. They bring with them a fire/passion/charisma/drive that permeates the medium they work in. It flows through everything they touch. And that is why they are golden; that is why they themselves are geniuses and not just the work they produce.

This is a concept that I have spent a long time internalizing this year. I desire to be good at something just as anyone does. But, I don’t want to be known for one thing. I don’t want, for example, photography to be the only thing I ever do well. I want every passion I have to shine with the excitement I have for it. I want everything I do to have a piece of my soul in it.

Sort of like creating horcruxes, but not evil.

Let me explain how I’ve tried to embody that idea this year, and what the catalyst for it was.

I spent years trying to write a novel. I managed 80,000 words, and it was really, really hard. I was lost, I was confused, I had no sense of direction or plot, I didn’t know my characters, and it was simply painful to get to the end. I loved trying, but I loved reaching the 79,999th word even more.

“I’m done!” I thought fondly. And so I sent the manuscript off to my friend Ksenia, who promptly got back to me with the following advice:

“I know it took you years to work on this, but this is not a draft of a novel. Not yet. It’s more of a summery with some expanded scenes, something you write BEFORE you write the first draft. So it needs a lot of work before it will become a book.”

Needless to say, I had the stuffing knocked out of me for a minute. Literally, one minute. And then I put the stuffing back in, with extra care around the heart, and my world abruptly changed.

AND THIS IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS.

You make a choice, right there in the moment, right away, in a single instant, to be better.

When I read those words, I felt their truth. I felt the guidance. I felt ready to make them disappear.

I told you earlier that the lesson I learned was to pursue your passion and pursue it well. Up until this point in my life, my guiding force was “pursue your passion”. It wasn’t until this year that I put emphasis on doing it with integrity, with grit, with determination and with hours of hard work.

I received Ksenia’s feedback in mid-May. By June I had a book list to read and I was ready to be a student of writing. I wanted to learn CRAFT before I sacrificed my VISION. And I was not going to be so egotistical as to believe I was above any of it. I became a student in the most serious way.

I used to say I was a reader. The reality was, I just wanted to be a reader. I read about 1-2 books a year – that’s it. In the past 6 months I’ve managed to read 23 books, some fiction and some nonfiction, all teaching me how to be a better writer by studying craft. All of that was in between hosting my yearly convention, recording a 26-hour long Creative Live class, exhibition openings and more…all completely alone while traveling for a solid 3 of those 6 months. I say this because we are all busy. That is not an excuse. You make time for what is truly most important, and you don’t make time for the rest.

I made the time. And it was really hard, and I spent a lot of dinners with a baked potato trying to scrape in another chapter to keep moving forward.

Though let’s be honest, I love baked potatoes.

At some point I went from wanting
to publish a book to wanting to write a book.

I went from wanting a pat on the back for penning a novel to deeply and irrevocably desiring to craft a piece of writing from my imagination. There is a very, very big difference between the two, and it is one that is hard to admit.

My education has become obsession. I returned home from my final trip of the year at the end of November and I’ve spent every day curled by the fire reading, writing, and brainstorming. My Love sits with me for hours a day as we talk about the motivations/desires/traits/conflicts for my characters. We mull over the most whimsical, surreal settings we can think of. And in all of this, I have the most spectacular revelation:

I CAN DO ANYTHING, as long as I do it well.

I can make anything happen to my characters, create any type of setting, give any motivation and write however my imagination tells me to…as long as it is done with integrity and craft. That is the most liberating thing to discover.

And the funny thing is, I discovered that a long time ago. When I took my first picture I had spent the week learning how to craft my imagination. When I uploaded it, I heard from people who connected to it, who understood it, who felt understood by it. I already knew what it was like to stare into the unknown, but to do so with heart and integrity.

I had forgotten.

My friends, this is the most beautiful journey. It doesn’t matter what you ambition is. Pursue your passion, and pursue it well. 

Share two things with me: 1) What are you a student of? 2) What object would you turn into a Horcrux?

Post Script!

Here are my favorite books from this year:

1. MYST by Rand and Robyn Miller, for the world-building. I still think about it on a weekly basis and wish I could exist in those books. (It is a trilogy).
2. SABRIEL by Garth Nix, because it came the closest to my own sense of storytelling and prose. (Also a trilogy).
3. STRUCTURING YOUR NOVEL by KM Weiland, which was the most helpful novel-writing book I read.
4. AMERICAN GODS by Neil Gaiman, which is quite a tome and mixes mythology with the mundane beautifully.
5. HARRY POTTER by JK Rowling, which I had read as a child as well but DANG, that woman can WRITE. Period. (I devoured the whole series).

In a league of its own, however, is THE FIFTH SEASON by N.K. Jemisin. WOW.

These are not just ideas, but ACTIONS that have made a big difference in my life: practical things you can do to make change happen instead of wishing for it.

1. Take notifications off of your phone entirely so you can be present.

I was late to the smart phone game, and when I finally got one, I hated it. The constant beeping of this person on Facebook inviting you to an event, or someone emailing, or a little birdie tweeting. I couldn’t take it. It wasn’t long before I disabled Facebook and Twitter notifications. And then, even when it was just my email, I felt like I was being suffocated.

When I turned them all off, I felt free. Your time is your own, so take it back. Do something powerful with it. Give your full attention to your life, not to the Internet. When I turned off notifications I could be more present in the moment and appreciate my surroundings much more.

Now I’ll be the first to say I am probably the worst person on the planet when it comes to communication. I like to be in the moment, and I give my whole self to whomever I am with, and this is not something I apologize for. So when I do sit down to answer emails, I am the same. I put my heart into it, and that has made my life much better. I am now much more opened up to focusing on my passion.

2. Dress the part.

I’m all for wearing pajamas all day long, trust me. I’m doing it right now as I write these words. But getting clothes that match who you want to be can motivate, inspire, and tell everyone else who you are as a person. If you spend everyday, all day, in clothes that do not tell a story of who you are, then that is one visual way that you are misrepresenting yourself. Whenever I put on a dress that looks like a fairytale, I feel so much more alive. I feel like I am ready to show the world who I am.

First impressions are so important, but not just to other people. Impress yourself first thing in the morning and wear something that makes you feel like the person you want to be. Chances are, if you feel like that in many subtle ways, you are more likely to become that person in the future.

3. Tell someone who you are.

Think about what your passion is. Think about all of the things you love doing. If you love to play the guitar, you are a guitar player. If you love to take pictures, you are a photographer. The fastest way to become what you want to be is to own it.

When I started photography I would say that photography was my hobby, and I was always very quick to make that distinction. I wasn’t professional, after all. I just took pictures and put them on the internet. I made a dime here and there, but didn’t make a living from it. I had no claim to being a photographer. But then I realized something. I was not doing photography for a love of money and I would never be. If I took money out of the equation I would still be doing the same thing for the passion. And so, with that confidence, I decided I was a photographer before I ever made a living at it. And if that living comes to an end, I will still call myself a photographer.

So this is your challenge. Think of what your passion is, and tell someone. 

“I am a photographer.”

“I am a _________.”

No one is going to say it for you. Once you start saying it, though, you’ll be so much closer to becoming who you want to be and pursuing your passion with more depth and conviction.

4. Take advantage of “off” hours.

Think about a time in your day when no one will bother you. It might be before everyone wakes up, after everyone has gone to bed, on a lunch break, or maybe you simply dedicate an hour to yourself once a day. Use that time, and use it well. Create something. Focus on your passion. When I started photography this was paramount for me. I was working a full time job and trying to create a full time career out of photography on the side. I woke up every morning at 5AM. I created for 2 hours until I got ready for work. I edited on my lunch breaks. I posted to social media in the evenings. And that was how I started truly pursuing my passion.

Sometimes life gets in the way. Some people have problems bigger than mine and sometimes time is not something you can create. But for the most part, it is. Cut out that hour of TV and do something creative. Cut out the time you spend hitting the social media sites and do something for your passion.

5. Block social media.

A friend of mine told me about this when she was studying for her law school finals. I was mega impressed. Think about just how much time you waste surfing the internet. Anyone else have FACEBOOK and TWITTER pop up as your most visited sites? I’m guilty too.

But there are websites designed solely to block your Internet usage. One such site is called “Self Control” where you can block certain websites for a certain amount of time, and that blockage cannot be undone under any circumstances. You just have to wait it out. Think about how much more productive we could all be on the computer if we simply didn’t have access to the sites that constantly take our time away.

I know this one is hard because it requires a lot of self-control, but then again, so does pursuing your passion. It is one thing to like something, or even love it, but quite another to pursue it with vigor and determination. I believe that self-control is one of the biggest factors in finding success by following your passion.

What steps will you take to follow your passion?
Will you implement any of these options?