We inherently look for excuses to not do something that scares us. We dream big and we dream often, yet we do not always act on those dreams. So many people, including myself, will say to dream well, yet the second part to that equation – making it a reality – is equally important. Dreaming with no conviction – we suffer from this too often.

1. Stop using BUSY-NESS as an excuse.

We are all busy. I complain about it too much. In truth I am grateful, yet still I make empty wishes that I wish I could slow down. The truth is, so many of us seek busy-ness. We want to keep moving and changing and growing. And the product of that way of thinking is being busy: finishing the tasks we’ve already started and dreaming up new ones. Don’t allow being busy to stop future growth. All that can lead to is stagnation.

Find a time, even if it is only one day a week, that you dedicate to future projects. Maybe you wake up one hour earlier, or go to sleep one hour later. Maybe you eat lunch at your computer instead of at a cafe, and you take the time to draft that email you’ve been so scared to write. Set goals for yourself, and write them down, and re-write them often. Don’t let yourself forget.

Routine is an amazing thing, but figuring out how to break that routine to try something new can be even more powerful. Pick a time to dedicate to a future project, make sure you write down exactly what you need to accomplish so you don’t waste time, and then do it. By scheduling time and writing down your specific tasks, your mind will get to work in sorting out details before you ever sit down to do it.

2. Put your personality into it.

I get asked often how to draft an email to a gallery. It is a great question, since there aren’t exactly guidelines out there with exactly what an artist should say. The funny thing, though, is that no one ever taught me how to do that. I can’t say if I’m doing it right or not! So why do I mention it, then? Because the only thing I know how to do is to ignore the assumption that there is a “right” way of doing things. I work on the idea that my personality and genuine urge to move forward is all I need to do just that.

No matter what the venture is, who I am writing to, or what I need, I state my case simply and with my sincere voice. I write how I would speak, and I speak how I would want to be spoken to. I try to be relevant, and kind, and genuine. I end every email with a smiley face. Why? Because that’s me – take it or leave it. It has worked pretty well so far, and for those it hasn’t worked for, then perhaps they weren’t meant to be in my life anyway.

We don’t always know how to be “correct” or “professional” – so don’t! Just be yourself.

3. Seek advice from those you trust.

Here is a really personal example of something I am working on right now. Next year my goal is to host a convention. I’ve got the venue picked out and a lot of details coming together, but I felt stuck and unsure of where to go. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing, or do something too quickly, or simply make the wrong choice. So I picked out 3 people in the photo industry that I trust and I went to them for advice. And the advice they gave me was priceless.

I went into those meetings knowing certain things about myself – for example, that I already had a set way of doing some things that I wasn’t willing to compromise on. I never recommend seeking advice unless you know 1) what your questions are, specifically, and 2) what your opinions are. Once you know those things, it is easier to not be swayed into doing something that you aren’t happy with.

4. Observe others.

So going on this convention example, I have found it very helpful to observe how other conventions are run. I have been on both sides of the spectrum, from speaking to attending, so I can understand what makes a convention run smoothly and what does not. For example, I don’t like having too many options at a convention, and I don’t like being overwhelmed by a huge amount of people. As a speaker it is awesome to have someone there helping you each step of the way so you aren’t lost or in over your head, and it is really nice to have a dedicated space to be when you aren’t speaking. All of this has been learned from simply observing – not judging, as all choices are made for a reason – but discovering what works best for me.

5. Assemble a team.

It is okay to ask for help – in fact, it usually makes your big projects even more successful. Knowing who to trust and how to help them do their part is a big plus in achieving more in the future. I’ve started working with three trusted people in my life to move forward this big project, and I can’t wait to have our first meeting. Delegate and be specific in your needs and wants. Say what you mean, and don’t hold back in sharing your expectations.

This week I tried something new when I did a lighting test. I set up two bare bulb strobes in my living room and instead of using the flash, I used the modeling lights. I hung a black piece of fabric tied to two kitchen chairs sitting on top of my dining room table. I set all of that up in front of a big glass sliding door for natural light as fill. And then I took some shots! I was dressed normally, not meaning to do a shoot, but I really liked the quality of light and wanted to see what I could build.

I changed into a new costume dress that I recently acquired and took the same picture as the test, only this time I was getting into the “Alice” character. I was shooting with only 4 feet of space between the backdrop and the window, so I photographed my head, shoulders, arms, body, legs, etc…in separate shots. In post I put them together, found a background I liked, created a hole in the ground, and chose cloud shots with lighting to match.

It was quite a new process for me as I usually don’t do so much compositing and especially because I don’t use lights! But it was awesomely fun. I don’t know that I’m necessarily set on doing this from now on, but it does encourage me to experiment a little bit more with light…though I think I still prefer my normal style of diffused, soft light. Trying something new will always lead to one of two things: a new way of doing something, or confidence in how you don’t want to do something. Both are equally important!

Give me a nasty comment online about my photos and I shrug it off. If someone doesn’t like the work I create, it doesn’t hurt me. I don’t spend my time looking into negativity. I don’t spend my days worrying about if people like what I do or not. What does get me, every single time, is how people experience me as a person. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be at my best all the time, and it physically pains me to think that I have given someone less than that.

Everyone deals with disappointment in different ways. It might be disappointment in a product, in someone else, or in yourself. In my case, I have trouble dealing with disappointment in myself. I hold everyone and everything in my life to high standards, but none more than me personally. I don’t deal with disappointment well. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I get physically ill. Sometimes I want to stop everything that I’ve worked for so as to never feel that feeling again.

Just a couple hours ago I said, out loud, that I wanted to quit my job. I didn’t want to move forward with any of the projects I’ve been working on for fear of being judged, rejected, or disappointing someone. Yet even as I thought about quitting, I could hear my future self, the one who wants to push harder and move further, talking rather loudly in my ear. She was telling me that if I never put myself out there I can never be a positive influence in the world. If I never put myself out there I can never do what my heart is set on doing. Yet the other side, like a little devil sitting on my shoulder, told me that I will do too much harm to make it worth it.

I will let people down. I will be a disappointment. I will never be what someone wants me to be.

Yet all the while, I will be myself. I will try to work on my journey and how I see the world and how I interact with it. I will try to be a better person. I will try to touch people’s lives for the better. I will try, and trying is all we can expect of each other.

That is a truth that I know intimately. It is a truth I have come face to face with many times. There are days when I want to quit. Right now, at this very moment, I have that desire deep in my bones. I don’t want to mess up. I don’t want to be a disappointment. Yet even greater than that is the knowledge that when one perseveres, tries harder, and becomes a better person, other people will benefit as well.

I might fail a hundred times, but if I succeed at only one thing, I hope it is to help someone, somewhere, in some way. In any way. To spread the love that I feel inside. And should I fail, I will welcome that failure with open arms. I will regret nothing because I tried my best. I will work to correct my mistakes. I will progress. I will challenge myself. I will try.

Let yourself feel what your body wants to feel. Let yourself be emotional and scared and understand, in those moments, how terrifying it is to put yourself out there. But when that feeling passes, even if only in a small amount, remind yourself of how incredible you are. You are only one small human, and yet in being so, you are powerful beyond measure. Next time you fall, remember that if you never did, you could not understand the immense honor of reaching peaks. All of life is made up of valleys and mountain tops that seem out of reach, yet both are attainable. We will fall and we will rise again, and we will do so understanding more about life each time.

I didn’t understand why we had to perpetuate that stereotype of a certain kind of beauty and why so many didn’t speak up when it came to sharing their own uniqueness.

When I started taking self-portraits I lied to myself and said that I only made arms skinnier for a more streamlined look, because the image would be stronger if the lines were straighter.

When I began erasing the pimples from my back and face I said it was for a smoother finish, because pictures look better without all that clutter.

What starts as a few spots can turn into an airbrushed disease and we start looking at certain pictures and thinking, wow, I look pretty good there.

And then the pictures come out of the camera and we started to wonder who the real me is, the one I put online or the one I see in the mirror, and we wonder if that matters.

And when I realized that time would pass and I would age and I would only have false advertisements to look back on, how would that make me feel? My aged face and withered body reminiscing of a time when I looked so much better.

When in reality I never did look that good, or, if we’re speaking truthfully, “that good” is just a myth. There is no good or bad that we can capture with a camera, or Photoshop into pure perfection.

There is only the truth that we spread through the world, hoping that someone will notice the beauty that we all possess. And so we edit and tuck and nip and cover until we think we’ve achieved the best us we can.

And when someone says “you look beautiful” you’re not sure if you should believe them but you do, and you hide from the responsibility that we all have not just as artists but as people, as free thinkers who are powerful enough to change what beauty is.

Beauty is not a lack of wrinkles or clean and clear face, nor is it the long legged beauty you marvel at in your college class, or the beautiful golden hair that catches your eye on the sidewalk.

That perfection of beauty cannot be captured with a camera but is instead painted from within.

Every single day, we pass by beauty and don’t even realize it. We walk next to beautiful people, amazing individuals, who shine brighter than anyone who puts emphasis on the physical or the vapid or the shallow.

We stand next to people who could change the world, and who do change the world. We walk by people who have no idea how beautiful they are or the incredible self-worth they possess.

We find ourselves marveling at the wrong things, wondering why our visions of ourselves don’t match the real versions of ourselves.

We can change that indefinitely. We are powerful beyond measure. We are built to change our world. We are as beautiful as we believe we are. No exceptions, no limits, no boundaries.

Do not hide from your beauty. Do not let someone take it from you. Do not change yourself to become someone else’s ideal. Do not take a vow of silence about what matters most because you are a piece of art, and you should be seen by the world.