How often do you live in madness?

[Transcript of video] I was thinking about Alice in Wonderland and how they not only introduce, but unashamedly applaud crazy individuals. What if we lived in a world where that was also encouraged, where we could be as mad as we like and we were applauded for it. Well, the truth is, that we do live in that world, only it is a world of elitism. We don’t exactly applaud the mad adventures of creative people in all circumstances. It is easy to be labeled weird or strange or written off for prancing around in a nightgown in the middle of the center of Amsterdam (or is that just me?) because craziness without success is often labeled as sad. But if you are crazy, and you follow through with one of your mad plans, and it suddenly is successful either through fame or money, then you are suddenly not crazy at all, but instead you are a genius. And with that genius comes praise and acceptance and a shift of the status quo. The problem here is that many people, myself included, will have ideas that are crazy and will not succeed. We think big and we try our hardest yet still that plan doesn’t find legs, and we find ourselves back at square one. This is a natural phenomenon. This is human nature – to try and fail and try again. Yet with how easy it is to be influenced by social media and the opinions of others, how often do we really try again? How often can we say that we are making our dreams a reality through the repeated failure of said dream?

How often do we put money first, or our family’s security, or the protection of our good name in order to protect what is nice and easy and safe? How often do we blame other people for our dreams not panning out? And it is easy to do this! It is easy to say that it was so-and-so’s fault, that mean person online who told me to give up. But think back to when you were a child and your parent told you to go to bed, and you rebelliously said no. That child didn’t think twice about what was right or wrong, what was safest for him or her. No, no, you simply did what your heart wanted. Why do we lose that? We lose that sense of self because we are taught to abandon it for the betterment of everyone around us. So when Mr. or Mrs. Nobody online, who we do not know at all, tells us to quit for whatever reason they see fit, we tend to listen, because we have been taught to listen. And listen we should! But not to that person. When it comes to following your dream, it is not wise to listen to the naysayer or the person who wants us to be safe. It is important to listen to ourselves, because in our heart of hearts we know what is right and what is true. We know what makes us feel alive. And without that…if we let that slip away…we will be left with a sore heart, too full with dreams to let anything else in. And we go on with what makes us content and we fail one last time.

But what happens when we don’t. What happens when we try again, and we find new ideas to love, and we nourish those ideas until they are so big that we simply must act on them. They cannot be ignored. And they shouldn’t be, because an ignored dream can be felt by everyone around you, and it infects their minds just the same as it rots in your own. When you pursue that dream, you show the world around you that it is okay to be different, to be mad and strange and weird, and it is okay to believe in what makes your heart soar. You prove to yourself that you are worth it. And even further, you change the world by simply not giving up. It is true that people become successful in the eyes of the public because of wealth and status, but that does not make their idea any better or worthy of praise. Your idea, it is very likely, has merit of it’s own. But no one will ever know that if you don’t tell them. And you won’t tell them if you never believe in yourself enough to try.

The first little while went really well. The water was pretty clear and we were having a lot of fun. But then some boats started coming in and docking – not at our pier, as it was out of commission (I checked first!) but at a nearby pier. This caused the water to become quite choppy, and since we were near rocks, we decided to get our before it got worse. I swam while holding my camera in my huge ikelite housing and then navigated the slippery rocks out while helping my friends and continuously (per request from Kelly) checking for sea creatures underwater with my camera (I would shoot a few pics to see what we were surrounded by). I did see a couple – an octopus and an eel, but I certainly didn’t tell her that until later. Once we made it out we decided to get back in when the water calmed, and we shot a few more images before calling it a night and drinking a coconut.

Now I desperately want to go back to Hawaii. Oh, to re-live these experiences through photographs is something I do not take for granted, and I can only hope to better document my next adventure.

Model: Marsha Denill
Assistance: Kelly McGrady

A couple days ago I was in Portland, and I was flying home with my friend and sister. On the flight we got separated, so I sat toward the front of the plane while they sat toward the back. In order for them to sit beside one another, they asked a man if one of them could switch seats, and he obliged. Not only did he oblige, he also made a comment along the lines of how grateful he was didn’t have to sit next to me because I look like I smell bad. Apparently he had made note of the three of us in the airport and decided it would be very bad to sit next to me on the airplane.

When my friend and sister got off the plane, they ran to me to tell me this story. “How crazy!” “How funny!” These were the things we laughed about as they told me what had happened. And yet, the more I sat with the story, the more I started thinking about the complete lack of tolerance and kindness that was displayed throughout the occurrence.

I dress a little bit differently, it could be said. That day I was wearing brown boots, a gray baggy skirt, a tan shirt with big sleeves (my favorite!) and a brown sweater with a headband. I layer a lot most days when I travel (and even when I don’t…my friends joke that I am slowly disappearing) so that I can fit more in my suitcase and carry the bulk with me, plus I get cold a lot. I had noted that morning that I was looking a little more…bulky…than usual because of how much I had to fit in my suitcase. But that said, I love the way I dress. It might be a little different and I might get frisked at airport security a lot, but it is me.

I can’t help but think of that man’s snap judgment, that because I dress differently and because I had a lot of layers on that I must be an awful person to sit next to on the plane. My sister and friend both mentioned how he was completely serious, looking very relieved that another situation did not transpire. And yet…

Think of how much we can change people’s minds. Think of that incredible ability we all possess to change how people see us, how stereotypes are perceived, and how we treat each other, too. We are all powerful beings. We all have a story inside worth letting out, no matter what our circumstance.

This whole experience makes me want to be so much kinder to strangers I meet. After all, strangers are friends we have yet to make. I believe in my ability to change someone’s life just the same as I believe in anyone’s ability to do just the same. I believe it is possible because I’ve seen it happen; I’ve had my life changed. A stranger can help you see perspective.

I imagine I’ll be more aware of how others perceive me, since that is something I have rarely considered before. But instead of changing how I look or covering myself up or revealing more skin, I’m going to be totally, completely me to everyone I encounter. I’m going to say what I want to say, and remember that kindness breeds kindness. The only way we can fully understand love is to give love.

Even if someone doesn’t see you for who you really are, or if, by chance, a stranger on an airplane calls you stinky…take it as a challenge to be the better person. Take it as a challenge to show them a side of you they might not have seen immediately. Take it as a challenge to show them love. Show them kindness. Show them change.

So, dear man on the plane, who happens to think I’d be a terrible person to sit next to, if ever our paths cross again… I will be sure to wear an air freshener around my neck so as not to scare you off. I will sit with you and share my story and listen to yours, and prove to you that how a person looks just might be secondary to how a person feels, and certainly what a person deserves. And how a person feels just might be enough to change the world.

With love,
Stinky