Behind the Scenes: Awakening

Behind the Scenes: Awakening

Lately I have been reminiscing over my earlier photos from when I first started photography. There are still, miraculously, some people who support my work that have done so since those earliest days. And sometimes I hear people telling me to go back to what I used to do. Some days I agree. Some days I want very much to be overtly deathly and creepy and to create more simply. Some days I try. Other days I rebel. Sometimes I recognize my growth and I revel in having come so far. This month has been one of those times when I keep looking back and desiring to create as I used to.

The problem is obvious, once you are on the other side. I am a different person from who I used to be. My interests/talents/mindset is new. I can’t create those images again. They were golden, but they are stale. Still, my desire remained so I decided I would put myself in the same situation I used to be in, with some of the same inspirations, but resolved to do something new.

This resulted in a rather hilarious photo shoot. Picture this: Me, in my bedroom, with a Disney princess kiddy pool, black fabric, and a jug of almond milk. Cue my husband, wondering 1) what I’m doing, but more important, 2) how I plan on doing it without soaking the floor in almond milk. That was when he found helping to be less futile than letting me alone with the soon-to-be mess.

I set my camera up on the tripod above me, using a Sony a7ii and 50mm lens. I made sure my shutter speed was high enough to catch some motion of the milk splashing, and after I was in focus, I got to shooting. Using a 10-second remote timer, I was able to click, get rid of the remote, and wait those L-O-N-G 10 seconds until the milk splattered all over me.

The first time, I actually forgot it was going to happen. I was so focused on trying to get my pose right that it hit me in the face like a huge shock, and I proceeded to laugh uncontrollably for a whole minute. Afterwards it started getting easier, we got timings better, and it took about 30 (very cold) minutes to finish. I realized my error of refrigerating the almond milk only after I started.

I pieced together various splashes onto my body and then manipulated the color/lighting to look more selective. I wanted a painterly feeling in this image. I also added hair on from a separate shot that I took before the milk portions were photographed, knowing that my hair would get soaked. Thankfully my shower was only a few feet away.

In the middle of shooting I had a moment, as I so often do when finding myself in a strange position, where I was filled with gratitude. These are the moments I remember. These are the memories I want to keep close. Some people may say I’m bonkers for wanting to do things like this, but I say the rest of the world is mad. To not desire a more interesting, fun and joyful existence is insane to me.

We might choose different ways of achieving it, but I can say something with certainty: The more you put yourself out there and do the things that other people think are crazy, the moreĀ alive you will feel. Trust me. It works every time.


4 thoughts on “Behind the Scenes: Awakening

  1. This is amazing and thanks for sharing. I love your behind scenes footage as it also helps me grow.

  2. hahah your comment about the mistake of refridgerating the milk had me cracking up lol. i love your behind the scenes posts. i love all your work it all speaks to me and i think its all the joy and heart you put into the creative process that comes through the pieces! one thing i love most about you is the weirdness and how u embrace it. i love being the odd one it makes life so much more fun and interesting!

  3. This really made me laugh! No wonder you decided to do this now, you didn’t want to get milk on the floor of the new house! LOL šŸ˜‰
    Anyone that thinks this stuff is crazy, just needs to look at how much fun you are having.:)
    Love the photo by the way.

  4. LOVE this! “The more you put yourself out there and do the things that other people think are crazy, the more alive you will feel. Trust me. It works every time.” YES!!!!!! <3

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