Has your story already started? How will you continue it? What messages do you want it to convey? What is your character like? Where does it take place? What conflicts do you run into? What makes you sing with joy?

The simple fact is that most people don’t see their lives as a story. So many people sit back and let life happen instead of taking control and sculpting it to be as they wish. A writer would never simply scribble words down on the paper without thinking about their meaning. A photographer does not idly point and click and hope to find a masterpiece in their camera. And so should a person take from the same ideology, that instead of waking up each day and going through the motions of life, take control and live it.

I believe that seeing life in this way will help the artist in anyone. It doesn’t matter if you create art traditionally or not: everyone is part artist because an artist is someone who sees the world a little bit differently and acts on it. So everyone has an artist within, and it is up to each individual if they release those stories. By understanding how to not only see, but live life with more intent and more story, you begin to understand more about how stories are told, why they are worth living, and how to put that out into the world.

2. Define what kind of character you are or want to be. Are you strong and bold? Weak and timid? Shy but fearless? How would you describe the character you are playing now, and how would you describe the character you want to be? Who are your favorite characters from books, shows, movies? And why do you love them so much? I am always changing the person I am into the person I want to be, and I will never stop because my life experiences change how I see the world. Strive to write yourself into the character of your dreams.

3. Every character needs a good story arc. Create a goal for yourself or for your art, or both! When you create a dream for yourself, your days are spent contributing to the fulfillment of that dream. Every character in a movie, TV show or book will have a goal they are trying to achieve – it could be an epic saga, a huge journey, or personal growth – and very often, it is many things rolled into one. So set a goal for yourself and work to achieve it every single day so that your book pages are filled with meaning.

In the same way that we craft our art, we must write our story in order to live it.

10 years ago. I was picking out colleges. I intentionally looked at schools that had private housing so I didn’t have to room with someone.

5 years ago. I was just about to start my business and decided not to deal with clients for fear of puking all over them.

Today. Still feel a little queasy, but doing much better. Let’s talk about why.

Another way that I dealt with anxiety was to begin telling myself that no one cares about me…in the best way possible! It is easy to become self-absorbed and think that everyone is judging us, when in reality, that is rarely the case, especially from strangers (at least in a meaningful way).

I began teaching workshops 4 years ago. About three years ago I was asked to do my first speaking gig. It was at After Dark photo convention. This last year I’ve been to a number of different conferences and schools to give lectures. And next year, my focus will be on motivational speaking for schools and businesses. So the big questions is…WHY!? Why would I do that when I’m scared to death of social situations.

The answer is twofold. One reason is because I wanted to push myself. The other is because I believe everyone has a story to tell. If I didn’t tell mine, I would be quite the hypocrite. And I would also be holding my desire back to teach others.

It isn’t the lectures that scare me, or the stages, or the crowds so much as it is the personal interaction just before the lecture begins. There is an in-between moment when you aren’t quite saying what needs to be said, going through a PowerPoint presentation, but instead you are just YOU, vulnerable and in front of everyone. This is the same feeling I get when talking with people I just met, at a party, or anywhere, really! It is the human connection, and I’m just plain bad at it.

These are the lessons I’ve learned in those 15 minute “in-between” times, after I come out from hiding in a bathroom stall and before I begin giving a lecture:

1. No one cares about you.

I know I’ve talked about this before, but I can’t stress the importance of it enough. In the most inspiring way possible, remember that it is highly unlikely that anyone’s opinion of you will guide your life more than your own.

2. What you look like is half of how someone will judge you…so OWN it!

Be proud of who you are and what you look like. Usually accepting your own style is the best way to get others to do the same.

3. Look the way you want to feel (hair, makeup, clothes).

Think about what clothes make you feel most YOU and wear them! Dress how you want to dress, present yourself how you feel, and you will immediately come off as more confident for it.

4. Get others involved (ask questions!).

One of the best ways to deal with anxiety in a social gathering is to put the pressure on someone else. Ask them questions, but not just any old question. Ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer. This is very helpful for me when starting conversations with people.

5. Share your life! Even if you don’t think it’s interesting, someone else might.

Everyone has something interesting going on in their life. I try to pick something out that is positive and halfway engaging to share should the occasion arise.

6. Understand your quirks, and werk ’em!

Be who you are, completely, and then don’t be afraid to show that to people. I try to be myself, even when it means saying weird things, running around barefoot, or making stupid jokes.

7. Create a safe space for yourself after you’re finished.

I am the kind of person who needs a space to recharge. I’m very much the introvert, so I always need a place to retreat to after a big social engagement so that I can decompress.

I thought it was appropriate to put a picture from my recent CreativeLive class in this post, since that is one of the biggest ways I have personally overcome anxiety. There is nothing quite like having cameras pointed in your face and talking for 18 hours!

I’ll be posting a blog later in the week about how this image was made.

I have been creating so many images lately with heavy compositing, and I was loving that experimentation. I have no plans on stopping, either. But in that haze of image editing I decided to try for a simpler composition and shoot in my favorite spot in the forest. I went with my friend Kyna to take some photos. We had tea and chocolate and then sat in the ivy, burning candles and playing with wax.

Earlier in the day we visited a local Goodwill and found many books for the photo shoot. I bought about 25 of them and decided to make do with those. One that we found, which was extra special, was a huge anthology of Shakespeare’s works, with illustrations. It was incredible timing, as I was fashioning the character of the image around Ophelia.

When we got to the forest I opened up the Shakespeare book and turned to Hamlet where I found the page you see in the final image. I put a vine in her hair and posed her quite similar to the woman in the book, and decided to go for a play on characters: one mimicking the other.

To read is to escape; to become someone else; to wish for a new life. So much of reading is becoming, not just imagining. We can feel what they feel, and in doing so, become those characters, even if for a brief time. Escape, release, and imagination. These emotions are what books are made of. Enchantment.

Who are your favorite storybook characters?