The problem is not that we have hopes and dreams, it is that we measure those hopes and dreams against how someone else has defined success. And the funny thing is, that definition will always change. We will agree with some people and disagree with others. We will form our own opinions and those opinions will change. We constantly chase those new definitions, and we constantly change them.

What if we stopped thinking about success at all? What if we took that out of the equation? That is a very difficult thing to do in the society we live in. People are constantly flaunting their success on the internet. Magazines feature the “most beautiful people” on their covers. We watch reality TV shows and wonder why our lives aren’t so amazing. We constantly compare, and at the heart of those comparisons is the basic question: Who is more successful? Me or them?

Who cares about success? When all is said and done, and we’ve gone to our graves, no one cares about how much money you had, or how famous you were, or anything else for that matter. You are the only one living life every single day, every single moment, with yourself. You are your best ally and friend. You are the one who is going to get up in the morning, try hard, and go to sleep at night. So erase the word “success” from your vocabulary and try replacing it with something more productive: happiness, for example. Or love. Or meaning. Or…Anything at all.

Because we don’t have the time to waste on thinking about something so intangible and destructive. Success is a word that inherently means competition and comparison. The only reason we understand how to measure success in society is because we are fed a daily dose of news about who is successful and who is not, and we are taught to judge those people based on that. From there we are taught to be those people, and to strive for more, and to allow success to define who we are.

Focus on bliss.

Follow your bliss, as Joseph Campbell would say.

Find what it is that makes you whole, and become that.
Chase it.
Let it fill you.

I realized, in that moment, that I was making a choice. I did not choose to wake up in a bad mood, but I was choosing to stay in one. No one was forcing me. When I evaluated what was wrong, I came up with nothing at all. There are some days when I feel this way and it lasts, and I listen to my body and rest. But on this day, something was different, and I wanted to explore how to change my feelings.

I thought more about change, and how powerful we are to create it. We can create change in ourselves, and only then can we change others. So today I decided to proactively take control and make myself happier. Instead of choosing to be in a bad mood, I decided to focus on the good…after all gratefulness is the best mood enhancer there is.

I thought about 5 different things, be it places or people or situations or ideas, that make me grateful to be alive.

1. I am creative enough to express myself. 

2. I am thankful for my other half.

3. I am fortunate to be surrounded by nature.

4. I am powerful enough to overcome negativity.

5. My life is just beginning.

I took my number 5 from this wonderful article on the Huffington Post about affirmations, that I think is a fantastic list that I’ll go back to frequently. And this is just my list for today. Who knows what will work for tomorrow, for there are endless affirmations to inspire us as our situation changes.

I saw this quote the other day by Eckhart Tolle that resonated with me so much, and really brings this post full circle:

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation, but the thoughts about it.

Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking.”

So true in so many ways. We must remember that whatever our feelings towards our circumstance, we have the power to control our reaction and move forward with a brighter outlook.

What are your affirmations?

*Image courtesy of Russell Andes, taken of me when preparing for my last creativeLIVE class.*

Long story short, I absolutely hate the gratification of busy-ness. But what I do love is pursuing my passion as forcefully as I can without over-doing it. And so that brings me to this cross-roads in my life right now. I was working myself as hard as I could while staying healthy, following my dreams and passions, yet all the while I was letting people down. I would miss emails (and not just a few), and I would mismanage my calendar, and fail to print my images on time…and so on…(yes, the list is long). The fact is, I’m not going to be good at everything. And I realized that if I slowed down enough to manage the business that I had going to perfection, I would have an extreme lack of time to do what fulfilled me.

At the start of this year I was thinking all of these things to myself. I’ve wanted an employee for a long time but could never justify it…that is, until I realized that I could either spend more time doing what I’m not fond of doing, or I could hire someone who enjoys those things and focus on what I do love. With a little help I could focus more on what I love, and turn that into an even bigger business. So at the start of this year, when one of my best friends was visiting, we had a revelation.

She wanted to move. She wanted a new job. I had just settled in a new town and needed an employee. Despite being best friends for the last 12 years, we had only lived in the same town for 2 of those years. And, crazy enough, she was visiting me in order to assist at a retreat I was hosting. The pieces were there, and we discussed the possibility of her moving out to where I live to assist me. A huge life change. Just one of many we’ve talked about over the years. And I didn’t get my hopes up, because asking my best friend and her husband to move across the country to come work for me is ridiculous.

Or is it? She thought about it seriously. He seemed interested.

And then, just a few short months later, the decision was made. She packed up her apartment and made the move. It is perfect for both of us. It allows us to both do more jobs that we love, and to spend time together, and well..to just be happy. Because what greater gift is there in life than happiness? And we can give that to ourselves.

So after 12 years of her being forced to hear lectures from me about just doing what makes you happy regardless of how difficult it seems, we both listened and we both moved forward together. And I can finally say, after 4 years of this crazy business moving forward, I’ve made another step toward my happiness and fulfillment. Please welcome Kelly, my new assistant and life long friend, who will be helping with everything from emails to workshops and beyond. She is incredible, and I say that wholeheartedly, as she is one of the people I most admire in the world, and I hope you will as well.

What is the most important thing you’ve done for your business?

So, last year when I was booking my schedule for 2014, I thought “sure, why not book two trips a month…just eat healthier and suck it up!” It turned out to be a lot harder than I thought it would, physically and mentally, to always be traveling. I found myself looking up to my friend Lindsay Adler, as I do so often, and admiring her determination to keep going and “get it all done”…but as much as I’d love to be, I’m not the wonder woman that Lindsay is.

To Lindsay: You amaze me.

The things that I value are making sincere connections, creating art, and writing. And at a certain point, trying new things and growing your business has to take a back seat to what you love, because if it doesn’t, what you love might be something that gets put on the back burner. I don’t want to get distracted from the things that are truly near to my heart.

With all the traveling I’ve been doing, I haven’t been taking time to just stop and create. To plan whole days worth of shooting and editing and other such nonsense. I mean, that’s why I wanted to be a full time photographer in the first place. Freedom. The thrill of creating. And above all, living a happy life.

So all of these thoughts culminated in, truth be told, nothing very spectacular. My plates didn’t fall. They are still spinning, but I’ve taken time to do what I need to do. And I’ve taken steps to spin fewer plates in the future. Because even though that may result in a number of things: less money, fewer connections, less travel, etc…I will gain so much more. What I lose from one category I gain in another, and happiness cannot be measured against anything else.

When I was shooting recently at the sand dunes and I heard the quiet of sand rustling hurriedly down the slope and I saw the spectacular sunset (it screamed to me silently), I realized that this is what I need more of: the tranquility I feel when I am free to create. I had to decide what is important in my life, just as we all must do to find happiness. What do I want to be doing on an everyday basis? Well, for me, the answers are as basic as they come.

I want to be home more and cuddle with my kitties and play that Doctor Who video game with my husband.

I want to cook more delicious food from all of my vegan cookbooks.

I want to create ALL THE TIME.

I want to write and be able to do so without a shaky hand on a plane.

I want to be able to reach people through my blog, videos, and education.

And so then, once those objectives are laid out, they must be put into place. Simple or not, it must be done, because happiness is what I hold most dear.

So instead of privately putting on 15 workshops a year in all different cities, I’m going to start an online interactive workshop. Instead of trying to focus on 10 different projects, I’ve determined which are most important and I’ve resolved to work on them exclusively. I started saying no where I felt the decision was a “make or break” for my happiness.

And most of all, I had to be okay with letting the wind take me where it will. Like a leaf gently falling from a tree, I am content to see where life goes.

So, from a hopeful me that these new decisions will inspire others to take hold of happiness…and with arms spread wide open to new opportunities and the opportunities I will create for myself…

…I’m off for an adventure.

How are you making your life a happier one to live?