kindness – Promoting Passion

Promoting Passion Week 61: Birthday Reflections

brookeshaden — Mon, 09 Mar 2015 15:17:28 +0000

Last week was my birthday. I love birthdays. It is a chance to celebrate someone when, so often, we fail to do so. To be honest my husband and I don’t celebrate birthdays much. We say that we celebrate each other all the time, so there is no real need. But nonetheless, I love birthdays because of how reflective they make us. We think about our lives in terms of years, and we often find a way to define a certain year of our lives. For example, when I think of being 21, I think of it as a huge, life-changing age. I got married, graduated from college, moved across the country, and discovered photography. Big year! When I think of 26, I think of how I bought my first home. When I think of 16, I think about meeting the love of my life.

But aside from reflecting on the things we’ve done, it is a chance to start anew. It is a chance to evaluate if you really are the person you want to be, or if you need to change something. For me, there is always something to change. The only question is what I am going to change. I spent the last year of my life changing course. I stopped doing a lot of the things I had done before – business and personal – and laid the foundation for a new life. This year, I am living it. Year 28 will be one of discovering my dreams. Dreaming bigger. Dreaming in my own way. Letting dreams define me.

I emailed someone the other day about a big project I’m working on. His response was “This is an absolutely crazy idea”. And that made my heart soar with joy. “Yes,” I thought, “that is the kind of life I want to live.”

Getting older means learning lessons. It means failing miserably. It means succeeding wildly. It means changing perspective on life. And this is what it has meant to me:

1. Failing is winning for those willing to try hard.

2. Life cannot be quantified in years. If I died right now, I will have lived the best life possible. This I can say with absolute confidence and love.

3. I would rather be crazy than boring. After all, I am the only one I can count on to entertain myself.

4. Not everything will work out, because if it did, we wouldn’t be able to see the gems through the dust.

5. There is never an excuse for boredom.

6. Being present in all that you do means you will never feel like life has passed you by.

7. Being genuine will get you farther than attempting to please people.

8. When you refuse to compromise your beliefs, you attract like-minded people into your life.

9. If you treat failure like an old friend, he will always be there to help you back up when he knocks you down.

10. Kindness should never be dependent on someone else’s actions.

11. Fears are friends wearing masks. Get close enough to see the face of fear.

12. Give your love without need for reciprocation. Receive love like you deserve it.

13. The words “best” and “worst” should never be used to describe someone. We will only look foolish when we are proved wrong.

14. Tell someone why you love them.

15. Live your life to make someone else’s life better.

16. Look forward to each day you grow older. The alternative is death.

17. If you build a community, take care of that community.

18. Dream as though it will happen.

What I have learned this past year can be summed up in these words: Love wholly. Give repeatedly. Create selfishly. Challenge yourself regularly. Live beautifully.

Goodnight, 27.

Good morning, 28.

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If you would like to send along a birthday gift (trust me, this is not a crazy narcissist sentence…) you can donate to the Fibromyalgia awareness campaign I have running, create an image with a butterfly to raise awareness, or join me on May 9 for the Caterpillar Walk. Alternately, you can donate photo equipment for the photography school I am starting in India for survivors of human trafficking – The Light Space. Signing up for the new After Dark conference will help donate to the school. Or simply check out my Giving Back page for ways to get involved.

Promoting Passion Week 48: Find Your Compassion

brookeshaden — Mon, 24 Nov 2014 15:08:07 +0000

Here in America we are celebrating Thanksgiving this week. It has always been my favorite holiday, not for what it represents but for the kindness it can breed. I can get into any holiday that promotes kindness and generosity. Here at my house we don’t technically celebrate Thanksgiving, we celebrate ThanksLIVING.

When I was visiting a vegan restaurant in Phoenix we saw them promoting the idea of a cruelty-free holiday, and have fallen in love with the idea. I have been vegan for 2 1/2 years, and far more than it being a diet, it is a way of life. It is infused in every single decision I make, from how I treat animals to how I treat other people, to how the choices I make impact the world.

Given that this holiday is so much about compassion for me, I wanted to talk about ways that we can incorporate compassion, kindness and generosity into our lives this week.

1. Write a letter to someone you care about.

Gratitude. It reigns as king in a world where happiness is priority and everyone can benefit from a little loving. Send your thanks to someone with the written word. Let them keep those words close. Share your love.

Here is a video all about GRATITUDE and how important it is for HAPPINESS.

2. Sum up the 3 events in your life that are most meaningful to you.

Be grateful for the experiences you’ve had. Something wonderful can fuel more amazing experiences. Something terrible can change your way of viewing the world. Whatever your experience, focus on them and why they were so meaningful to you. Finding meaning in the past promotes a more meaningful future.

3. Name something you have done for yourself that has been a positive force in your life.

You are the life-force behind the decisions made in your life. Give yourself some credit for making choices and allowing your life to move forward. What is one thing you have done for yourself that was a change for the better?

4. Figure out one way to help a stranger.

Give someone a card. Give someone a hug. Hold a door for someone. Buy the person in front of you in line a drink. There are countless ways to help people, and whether they need it or not is not the question here. The fact is, you never know what a person is going through no matter how well-off they look, so show kindness to someone today.

5. With some extra money you have, buy someone a meal who needs it.

Especially around the holidays it is easy to see a separation between those who have and those who have not. Buy a meal for someone in need, or donate to your local food bank. It can make a huge difference in someone’s life.

6. Find an artist online and show them you appreciate their work.

Find a way to support an artist you love by giving them some kindness online. Heck, find anyone you think might need a few words of encouragement – someone who you think is doing something great – and share your kindness.

7. Buy a card for someone you love and mail it.

What is better than getting a card from someone and being reminded that someone is thinking of you? I love getting cards in the mail, though it happens very infrequently. Spend the $5 and mail a card, or make a card and send it out…it can cheer someone right up who just might need it.

8. Next time you find something frivolous that you want for yourself, use the exact amount it costs to buy something for someone else.

See a lamp you want, or a dress, or a sweater, or a hat…look at the amount, write it down, and use that amount you felt you could spare for yourself on someone else. It feels amazing.

9. Find someone you’ve lost touch with and let them know you’re thinking of them.

We all have friends we’ve lost track of over the years. Take a moment to contact one of them and let them know that you still think of them and wish them well.

10. Adopt a Turkey, Eat a Field Roast.

I am a passionate vegan, and I do my best not to talk too much about it on my blog. Why? Fear of people getting annoyed, I suppose. But what is so much more important to me is that we try our best to promote gentle and kind actions toward all living creatures and our environment. So this year, when you’re thinking about a big Thanksgiving dinner, I sincerely hope you’ll consider adopting a turkey instead of eating one. They are amazing creatures who deserve our love and compassion.

At Farm Sanctuary, you can adopt a turkey by spending $30 – the average amount a family would pay for a turkey for their meal. That money goes to the farm to continue the welfare of these animals. Instead of having turkey, which I know is a beloved family tradition, try out a field roast or an alternate form of meat. It will be entertaining, if nothing else. Or try a new centerpiece from whole foods – it could surprise you!

11. Check out the “Giving Back” page of my blog for ideas of how to donate your time to charities in need.

Did you know that the number one thing that can effect happiness is how grateful you are?

Gratitude, kindness, generosity, compassion…these are the things that give us a sense of fulfillment. These are the acts of service that truly make a difference in how we feel inside as well as how others feel as a result. The more we promote our passion, the more we can promote the passion of others. The more we love ourselves, the more we can love other people.

Everything begins within. The most radiant form of kindness starts inside and expands outward. Find your empathy today. Find your compassion. Be kind. Love wholly. Be present.

Happy ThanksLIVING, everyone. Thank you for being part of my passion and for sharing yours with the world.

Will you be putting any of these suggestions into action? Or do you have another idea of something kind to do?

Share how you plan on spreading the kindness in the comments, and I will randomly select one person to receive a costume from my collection.

Are You Stinky?

brookeshaden — Sun, 23 Nov 2014 15:08:25 +0000

Funny story…

A couple days ago I was in Portland, and I was flying home with my friend and sister. On the flight we got separated, so I sat toward the front of the plane while they sat toward the back. In order for them to sit beside one another, they asked a man if one of them could switch seats, and he obliged. Not only did he oblige, he also made a comment along the lines of how grateful he was didn’t have to sit next to me because I look like I smell bad. Apparently he had made note of the three of us in the airport and decided it would be very bad to sit next to me on the airplane.

When my friend and sister got off the plane, they ran to me to tell me this story. “How crazy!” “How funny!” These were the things we laughed about as they told me what had happened. And yet, the more I sat with the story, the more I started thinking about the complete lack of tolerance and kindness that was displayed throughout the occurrence.

I dress a little bit differently, it could be said. That day I was wearing brown boots, a gray baggy skirt, a tan shirt with big sleeves (my favorite!) and a brown sweater with a headband. I layer a lot most days when I travel (and even when I don’t…my friends joke that I am slowly disappearing) so that I can fit more in my suitcase and carry the bulk with me, plus I get cold a lot. I had noted that morning that I was looking a little more…bulky…than usual because of how much I had to fit in my suitcase. But that said, I love the way I dress. It might be a little different and I might get frisked at airport security a lot, but it is me.

I can’t help but think of that man’s snap judgment, that because I dress differently and because I had a lot of layers on that I must be an awful person to sit next to on the plane. My sister and friend both mentioned how he was completely serious, looking very relieved that another situation did not transpire. And yet…

Think of how much we can change people’s minds. Think of that incredible ability we all possess to change how people see us, how stereotypes are perceived, and how we treat each other, too. We are all powerful beings. We all have a story inside worth letting out, no matter what our circumstance.

This whole experience makes me want to be so much kinder to strangers I meet. After all, strangers are friends we have yet to make. I believe in my ability to change someone’s life just the same as I believe in anyone’s ability to do just the same. I believe it is possible because I’ve seen it happen; I’ve had my life changed. A stranger can help you see perspective.

I imagine I’ll be more aware of how others perceive me, since that is something I have rarely considered before. But instead of changing how I look or covering myself up or revealing more skin, I’m going to be totally, completely me to everyone I encounter. I’m going to say what I want to say, and remember that kindness breeds kindness. The only way we can fully understand love is to give love.

Even if someone doesn’t see you for who you really are, or if, by chance, a stranger on an airplane calls you stinky…take it as a challenge to be the better person. Take it as a challenge to show them a side of you they might not have seen immediately. Take it as a challenge to show them love. Show them kindness. Show them change.

So, dear man on the plane, who happens to think I’d be a terrible person to sit next to, if ever our paths cross again… I will be sure to wear an air freshener around my neck so as not to scare you off. I will sit with you and share my story and listen to yours, and prove to you that how a person looks just might be secondary to how a person feels, and certainly what a person deserves. And how a person feels just might be enough to change the world.

With love,
Stinky