This was a tremendous year of growth or me and I can’t help but feel like, even on this second-to-last day of the year, I am still learning lessons that 2016 wanted to teach me. For example, I started my morning before the sun rose climbing a mountain with my love, remembering the importance of connection, vulnerability and bliss.

Here is a look at my highlights from the year:

PERSONAL

• You can never know your impact on someone else, not fully. I was reminded of that during some personal hardships that I will not detail, but taught me how to grieve, how to be stronger, and how to more closely embody empathy.
• I realized that I have too much, and that I would rather downsize, sell my house, live a more minimalist life and be debt-free completely. 2017 should be interesting in that sense!
• I lessened my “victim” response. I started to react to situations from a stronger, more decisive place that allowed me to feel less like a victim and more in control.
• I traveled to: California, India, Wisconsin, Oregon, Nevada, Utah, Australia, New Zealand, Indonesia, New York, Pennsylvania, England, Florida, Illinios, Peru, Colorado, and Washington, several of them several times!
• I started doing yoga and hiking 3-5 times a week (though still thought I might die climbing Machu Picchu in 90 minutes flat!).
• I finished writing my novel!
• I got to meet the Doctor Who cast IN PERSON. Enough said. I can die happy now. My husband is the greatest!

  • For those inquiring minds: Matt Smith, Alex Kingston, Arthur Darvill (and watched John Barrowman speak…phenomenally inspiring!)

ART

• At the end of 2015 I had a brutal portfolio review, the gist of it being that I’ll likely never be a serious artist, my images lack depth and meaning, and that a solo show in NYC would be unlikely. I wallowed for 2 hours and then conceived of a new series, complete with many layers and meanings, that I began working on in December 2015. By September 2016 I finished the series, booked a solo show in NYC to debut that series, won a grand prize award for it, printed it, and the show opens in early January. I do not, in any way, say this to brag. I say this to prove that someone’s opinions of you should never define your future. Take control of what you do and you will control your life. I see myself as the kind of person who doesn’t win things, who doesn’t come out on top – very much an underdog mentality. But I am starting to change my narrative.
• I partook in a December self-portrait challenge that I allowed to consume me. It brought me out of a slump (personally and professionally) and added half a dozen new images to my portfolio when I thought the year was finished. Challenge yourself to create. It can never hurt. Never.
• I know I put finishing my novel in the personal category, because it was a massive personal triumph, but I put it here, too. I learned this year so much about commitment through the 30 day self-portrait challenge, finishing my novel, and finishing my series. I can say, without much doubt, that I lack natural talent in many ways – but what I have is commitment in abundance, and that makes all the difference. I learned how to outline plot and characters, how to structure a novel, and how to let go of something so personal. My husband will be proofing my novel in January and then it’s off to my darling Editor.

BUSINESS

• Big changes happened this year, as I will continue into the new year with a drastic lessening of help in my business. At first I was nervous until I started doing everything on my own. I realized that I had grown up a lot since I felt I needed help. This year I learned how to set guidelines, goals, and a great routine to allow me to achieve my objectives. My routine: emails, creative time, daily business goals, writing, yoga, cooking, and snuggles. Always snuggles.
• I finished 100 weeks of Promoting Passion videos and started a 10-video series called White Wall Wednesday (most likely TBC in 2017!). They are all on my YouTube where you can subscribe to get new content!
• I started two “pay-what-you-can” challenges that have allowed me to create content from home and share it with others for whatever they want to pay for it. This allows those who can’t participate in other events to have a chance. The 20 Day Portfolio Renovation Challenge is still open for registration until tomorrow evening! Begins Jan 1!
• I auditioned for a TED talk and didn’t get it. This was the biggest blow of the year for me in business. It is my greatest dream. But I’m not done. I will work harder for it than ever before, hopefully finding a conference theme that is more in line with what I do.
• I designed a portfolio case to produce and met with several prototype companies, but as of yet cannot afford to personally fund the project. I will continue to pursue this in 2017.
• I hosted my 2nd annual Promoting Passion Convention! This year saw an increase of participants, incredibly inspiring speakers and educators, as well as the most authentic, genuine connections. It was a glorious sight, that is to be certain. I can’t wait to share the video with you!
• I directed two music videos! They were mostly for fun, but taught me a lot about film and I can’t wait to do more!
• I photographed this kick-butt opera singer in London and then got to see the pictures on a bus. Super awesome moment!
• I finally embraced Instagram!
• <Insert exciting thing that I can’t share until the new year>

CHARITY

• The Light Space had it’s first successful year running!!! TLS is a practical photography training program for survivors of human trafficking in India.
• I raised over $13,000 for The Light Space through the pay-what-you-can challenges as well as the Promoting Passion Convention!
• I raised over $2,000 for Blossomy, my partner organization for TLS.
• I donated to over 25 charities this year for causes I believe in greatly.
• I started the process of turning Promoting Passion into a nonprofit! More on that in the new year!
• I began teaching self-expression workshops to underprivileged communities here in the United States.
• Thanks to new equipment donations, I’ve got a whole suitcase of new equipment to take to India in just 5 DAYS!!

I am beginning 2017 with a flight to NYC to attend my show opening, and then I’m off to India and Thailand to teach 4 workshops for survivors of human trafficking about photography and self-expression. I’ll be gone for 3 1/2 weeks, and when I return, I’ll be diving into so many exciting projects!

Thank you endlessly for a year I will treasure and continue to learn from. It is thanks to you that I have a business that I love, a community that I cherish, and notably, together we are changing the world by helping charitable efforts.

2017 is going to be a year of power. That is my dedication. However I choose to grow, help others, change, or shed light, I will do so with as much power as I can. In doing so, I can only hope I will find others who are radically dedicated to living in their power.

HUGS and LOVE,
Brooke

There is a certain song that we sing, sometimes without realizing that our voice escapes our clenched throat, that vibrates through the air, noiseless, until it beats against the place it was meant to find. The lyrics are without words yet speak to a place inside where the voiceless booming of magnetic poetry carves itself in deep. Words are not necessary in this song. It is a pounding mystery. The ocean beating rocks against one another, or the crack of thunder. It carries inside itself a booming melancholy, or a rich light, and when we hear it (for only we can) we know it to be true. Such is the way with certain places. We release a song and hear nothing until it hits hard the place that makes it sing. Such is the way with humans. Such is the way with the soul.

Iceland – June 4th 2015 – 9:00pm

We arrived at the lava rocks with both joy and sadness. It was our last stop for our 5-day adventure together. The friends that I loved would be departing the next day and right then, in those few hours, we would spend our last moments creating art together. I stepped out on the rocks for the first time and bounced. I felt like a child, touching and smelling something for the first time. We rejoiced at so many things that evening – the way the clouds continuously changed, each calling to one another to look in different directions, each of us in awe. We jumped from rock to rock, holding hands, calling out, and laughing. We each strayed off by ourselves for brief moments, taking it all in. And I went with one of my best friends to shoot a private series.

The cold lessened that evening more so than the other days. We felt warm with life and excitement and so creating art nude and exposed felt easier than other times – more comforting. Soon enough we were barefoot, letting the moss tickle in between our toes, and I was glowing with inspiration. When I was photographing my friend, I wondered if the power that we felt would translate in a single image. There are times when I wish I could bring the viewer to the shoot, make them (you) feel the air and touch the ground and let your heart beat to the rhythm of that creativity. But in the moment, knowing there is no way to translate such a feeling, I had to settle for doing the best I could with what I had – a powerful woman nestled in the heart of all hearts, the soft ground covering the dangerous lava rocks in the land of fire and ice.

And so I created five images in a series, making her body look like the landscape. I photographed the first image and asked if I could keep going, changing my angle each time to create a triptych of the same model in nearly the same poses from three different angles. I photographed one pose of her reaching for the camera. At first it spoke to me as someone who needed to be rescued, but the more I looked at her reaching there in that place, I felt she was beckoning to me. Pulling me in and telling me to stay forever in this place where my heart sang more than ever before. Finally at the end of the shoot the inspiration fever had caught on, and Jen asked if she could join the shoot, which I was absolutely delighted about. And so I ended the session with both of them there in that powerful place, a finale to a poetic and emotional day.

Model, Images 1-5: KD Stapleton
Model, Image 5: Jen Brook

To put it simpler: They are beginnings. They are life. They are rebirth.

This end of another year does not symbolize the end of one thing as much as it does the beginning of another. And with all beginnings, it is best to start fresh with some introspection and self-love. It is best to move forward with yourself on your side, because too many of us play for another team. It is best to begin anew with dreams and hopes, and to put our losses to rest.

We have learned together and grown together. We have journeyed long and far and have discovered parts of ourselves we never knew existed. We challenged ourselves and pushed and pulled from others, and did our best to be the best, or at least the best we can hope for within ourselves. That is why I love you all. Accountability, friendship, and love.

I feel so fortunate to close this year out having learned about myself and about others. I have seriously redefined my goals in life. I am no longer satisfied with being a photographer. I want to make a real difference, and so a single word cannot capture what I hope to be. I want to be inspired by all things, naturally and beautifully, as it can be. I want to find my voice so that I may raise it up and stand for something bigger than my own vision. I want to give my imagination legs to stand on, and then wings to soar upon, that I may see the world from a cloud that I built with my own two hands.

As I looked back at this year, I found that the things I did, the “successes” and “failures”, were hardly a thought in my mind. I found it difficult to remember the traveling I did, or the pictures I created, so much as I could remember the lessons I learned while doing those things. Life is so often not about the things we do, but how we choose to look back on them. How they impact us in the future.

1. Give yourself a gift EVERY DAY.

   You are so much more worthy than you know. You are impactful and bright and you can change lives; the first life you should change is your own. Recognize your impact, your wants, your needs. Recognize your capacity for change, and then exact that change. Give yourself something every day that symbolizes that control you have over your world. Wake up to watch the sunrise. Treat yourself to a cookie. Write yourself a card and hide it. Go see a movie. Eat well. Smile at random. Count your successes, no matter how small. And above all, remember how worthy your own happiness is.

2. Forgive yourself before it is too late.

   We want to be better. We want to succeed. We want to push past our barriers. And sometimes, despite our best efforts, we simply do not manage everything we hope for. In those times, forgive yourself before it becomes too hard to do. I had my fair share of lazy days. Days when I watched TV all day. Days when I didn’t want to leave the house, or talk to anyone. Days when I felt inferior to other people, days when I didn’t think I could compete, and days when I just needed a rest. And I realized this year that it’s okay to not be the person you are aiming to be. Everyone needs to recharge and reset. It is okay to take a step back from that hustle and just exist. Forgive yourself now before guilt comes knocking. Let yourself be happy. Take breaks. Be free.

   3. You are a work-in-progress, yet you already possess the tools you  need.

   Two things happen all-too-often, perhaps due to our nature. One is that we constantly feel the need to be better, and the other is that we doubt our ability to do so. Remember this: no one expects you to be perfect. You are usually your own worst critic. Be okay with being something less than perfect – that is always more interesting anyway. Live through your flaws. Identify them. Try to grow. And remember, in the midst of those growing pains, that you do have the ability to fix yourself. You have all the tools you need. No one can give them to you. You simply have to search deeper.

   4. You have a gift to give the world – do not keep it to yourself.

   A great friend once told me, when I was refusing to release a picture about 5 years ago, that I have a gift to give the world and not sharing it was to keep that gift to myself. I rolled my eyes. I thought she was being ridiculous – after all, I’m not some crazy narcissistic person who thinks my art is so great. But you know what – she was right. And she wasn’t just talking about me. She was talking about everyone. Every single person has a gift to give the world. It might not be a gift for every single person, but consider this hugely important idea: When you give a piece of yourself, there is someone out there who needs to receive it, and they often will. You never know how you will positively impact someone’s life, so do not keep your gifts to yourself. They are too precious to be hidden away. Embrace them. Know your quirks. Reveal them. Share them openly. Be generous.

   We are cracked. We are flawed. We are full of power and energy that we cannot begin to know. We can only hope to search for it, to embrace pieces of it, and to use it to unlock our passion.

And, perhaps, it is thankfulness that allows the happiness meter to teeter from one side to another – the idea that we can be grateful for everything we have, or might have, or will never have. The idea that we can be grateful for the decisions we are able to make. The idea that we can be grateful no matter what life throws in our way. We have control over how we see the world and how we treat the things in our world. And we can control how we react and act and give back to the world.

All of this culminates in one very moving thought:

HAPPINESS IS A DREAM THAT WE MUST CHOOSE TO BELIEVE IN.

Think about how often we search for a THING that will make us happy, be it money or a house or a lover or an adventure. Yet those things, while they are amazing, are not wholly what creates happiness in us. Therefore happiness is not something that we either have or do not have based on what we possess; it comes to us as freely as the wind in our hair or snow flakes on our lips. It is ours to take at any moment, despite our circumstance and status. It is there always, beckoning us if we choose to hear it.

We have great power in the world and even greater power within ourselves. We can choose happiness, and that is something I do now and always. I do not let happiness become something I am searching for because it is already here, found, and locked inside my mind like a most beautiful memory: even when it fades, it still has a place that will never be lost, and can always be found again.

I am happy because I understand what happiness is to me. I understand that it is something that I need not search for but see all around me. It is inside me. It is the way I see the world and react to the world and contribute to the world. It is waking up every morning to see the sun rise and saying hello to a beautiful day because it is a beautiful day, and a beautiful life.

It is saying hello to life, greeting Her with a smile, and understanding that we have the power to exist passionately.

I don’t think that the things we do and the people we are have to be wholly connected. Once you give yourself permission to be any number of people while staying true to your core, you become comfortable in your many skins. We are all chameleons, shape-shifters and skin-shedders. We take on new personas as we grow into the world. As we accept ourselves, we become ourselves.

It is easy to get caught up in thinking that there is one person we are supposed to be, yet with all the possibility in the world I think it is narrow-minded to constantly try to fit into one version of yourself. We are infinite. We change into the person we want to be everyday. Each new moment is an opportunity to recognize who you want to be and to be that person.

I was thinking of all these things when I created this image. For me, it is an image of desire. It is an image of the future and the past and the present colliding. I photographed this in Dubai, in an old street with cobblestone and aged concrete. I photographed a young woman, beautiful and carefree. I photographed the ever-changing sky moving past us. And those three elements came together to represent past, present and future. One cannot easily exist without the other in a meaningful way.

We are so many people wrapped into one. The ways that we express those different personas are as varied as the personalities that inhabit our bodies. It is okay to be many in one. It is okay to accept what makes us different. I can say with confidence and pleasure that I am not the same person I used to be. Who I am now is evolving, and who I will be is exciting. We have the power to be whoever we want to be. We have the power to create the art that represents us. We have the power, always.