Fear is a funny thing. No matter how often we confront them we find a new one. When the clouds clear up and the sun shines through we find another cloud to take it’s place. And that is the human condition. It is the desire to find fear and face it that makes us unique. It is our undying affection for challenge and rebirth that makes us interesting.

We shelter ourselves with umbrellas and hats and rain coats so that we cannot feel the sting of the rain, but the rain is rarely as bad as one thinks it will be. It can be unpleasant and cold and lonely, but it lets you know you are alive. Just the same with fear: when we let it touch us, when we do not run away, it has no more power. The more we ignore it or shield ourselves from it, the larger it grows, an ever-present entity in your heart. But when it is unleashed, and we feel it’s full effects, we know it for what it is. We call it by name and look it in the face. We understand what our fear has to say, and we respond in kind.

Do something that requires bravery every single day.

That was the thought I had the other day that changed everything for me. I no longer felt bound by life’s rules. I simply wanted to be brave, to do something that scared me, and to face that thing head on. When we do something that takes courage, we diminish fear. It will never leave our side completely, for if it does we know we are complacent, unchanging, and stagnant. But that cloud will grow smaller, as I have watched mine for the last few years, until it is a friend, a companion, waiting to challenge you.

Don’t let your storm cloud grow so large it changes the lives of others.  And just as importantly, don’t let it cast a shadow over your life. Take control of it. Embrace it. Learn to see the good in it. And when you do, you might find that it has moved on without unleashing the storm you were expecting. Because when we love our fears, we make room for blue sky days.

Model: Mia Hutchinson

Share here a fear that you are currently struggling with.

Share one way that you exhibited bravery in the last month.

My current fear: That my convention won’t be a success. 

Moment of bravery: Emailed new galleries to request exhibitions.

Artificial Lighting
Clipping Masks
Auto (anything) in Photoshop
Working with Agency Models
Dealing with a Bright Background
Modern Props/Spaces
Narrative Storytelling
Working with a Team

And the list goes on. *And* that is just for my photography. We all have countless struggles in our lives, be it professionally or personally. When we love something, we want to do it well. We want our hearts to be poured into something great. We put emphasis on what we love and so we do it, yet somewhere along the line we start focusing on all the ways in which we might fail.

No one will ever be good at everything. Even the most proficient person at their craft has a range of things that they simply aren’t good at. Yet at the heart of our challenges lies the simple idea that we are not actually bad at anything; we are afraid.

If someone tries hard enough at something, it is likely they will get past that awkward, uncomfortable phase of being bad at it. That doesn’t mean they will ever be the best, but they certainly will progress. The single thing that stops us from pushing past what we are bad at is fear of trying at all – being judged, judging ourselves, losing self-esteem.

For me, take artificial lighting. From my earliest days as a photographer people told me that in order to be “professional” I had to learn how to light my photos. I had learned about lighting a little bit in film school, and even then was terrified to touch a light despite wanting to be a cinematographer. I often opted for more unusual (re: low budget) ways of lighting a scene, like a 200watt bulb inside a paper lantern from Ikea. It worked, or at least…most of the time.

However, that does not mean that artificial light can’t produce the same results, or that I could expand my style even further by trying. So, then, why did I not?

Fear. That is what stops most people from doing most things.

Fear that my style will change and I will have the growing pains of growing into it.
Fear that I won’t be good at it. I have given artificial light a try, from huge softboxes in the forest to bare bulbs in my house. And to be honest, I don’t enjoy those pictures as much. But even more, I don’t enjoy that process. And in creating images with artificial light, I’ve learned something valuable – that I feel secure and fulfilled with my methods, and yet I don’t have a looming fear hanging over my head anymore.

I love creating for myself and by myself. I love my process so wholeheartedly it feels like an extension of myself. Yet that does not mean that there isn’t room for growth. There are always things to learn, even if it is what you don’t want to do. As long as you understand who you are, exploring other options can only act as a catalyst for a more secure and fulfilling life.

Today, when you write your list of things you can’t do, pick one of those items and change it. Do it. Break out of your comfort zone and try something completely foreign to your process, and own it. Fly or fall, that is no matter. The outcome is less important than the journey. Take a step forward to challenge your own fears and overcome them. The moment you do, you are free of them.

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The above image was photographed with SweetLights in my living room, with a WHCC floor and black cloth background. Oh, and lots of painful body positions, as usual.

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