Looking back at my images this year it is easy to pick out the ones that were better than others, or the ones that I wish I had never created. But that is so far beyond the point of why we create. We create not only to capture the best of the best, but to capture a fleeting moment, even if you are not capturing reality. I create in the moment, inspired by everything around me, desperate to translate my vision into an image. And when it is finished, and I’ve put distance between the picture and myself, I never regret what I have created. I see it as a timeless reminder of who I was and who I want to be. Learning from my mistakes and pressing on with more life.

Those four images above are the ones I am most proud of – visually, thematically – and they will have a special place in my portfolio for the 2014 year. But even more, they will carry on into new years as inspiration, a reminder of the direction I want to go in, and a measuring board against which all other images will be judged.

There are images in my portfolio that I don’t like as much, not for any fault but simply because I was having fun in the moment, didn’t spend as much time conceptually, and I feel they fell flat. But I love them all the same, how much I like them aside. They are part of me.

I created images that remind me of why I love to create. This one took me nearly a whole day to put together. My memory from this day is of spinning around the tree until I got sick with one of my best friends, absurdly wrapping nature in yarn, telling a tale. I will never forget that day.

I created images that remind me of the message I want to send, and inspire me to never let go of what makes me unique. We all have something so wonderful inside. It is a true shame to let it slip away, no matter how other people perceive that gift.

There are images that remind me of how grateful I am to create, and of the people who make that possible. The kind-hearted models who give their whole selves, the friends I’ve made along the way, and the people who have so much vision I am inspired by being in their presence.

Other images remind me of special days, days that were marked in time by which photo I took, and when. Images that show me more than what the pixels represent. This image was taken on my birthday last year. I felt peace and calm. I felt strong. I see that in this picture.

And finally, there are images that remind me of how far we are willing to go to achieve something more. Images that make me reach higher and strive for better, and want to give more to others. When I photographed this image I was on top of a 10,000 foot crater in Hawaii. It was below freezing and I was in a raining cloud. And it was one of the clearest, most soul-deepening moments of my life.

I wish everyone many more moments like that. I would love to see what moments meant the most to you, either through what you created or moments that enriched your life…because you never know when your moments will help someone else, too.

When an artist skips the question of WHY, it becomes difficult to answer any of the other questions. For at the heart of our journey is why we are walking, and when one no longer knows why they are walking, they tend to stop. Such is the reality of creating art. We walk and walk and walk, fueled on by passion and in turn, inspire ourselves. But when we forget why we create in the first place, the rest falls apart, too.

I recently took a journey through my portfolio, from day one until now. I like to do this a few times a year to keep myself on track, show myself the progress I’ve made, and equally to show myself how far I still have to go (eternity). While I was going through my works I remembered, suddenly and happily, why I create. It isn’t to hear other people’s reactions. It isn’t to hear a shutter click or to have fun frolicking in the woods. Those also come after the real reason why I create.

I create to find beauty in darkness, to shed light on the life of death; to pursue my own vision of the world and project that, as strange as it may be. I am in love with creating because I am in love with my imagination. I care so little about cameras and lights and technology, but I care infinitely for my ability to astound myself.

We all have the opportunity to be amazed by what we do. It doesn’t have to be the finished product that we love, or even the process of doing it. For me, it is the simplicity of being able to create. It is knowing that I have the power to express myself, change myself, and grow. It is knowing I have the power to, possibly, do the same for someone else. I have a voice and a message and a way of relaying that message to the world.

My art is an extension of myself, a third hand that serves my thoughts and dreams to the world. It is dark and I happily use the word creepy, yet it can also be whimsical and sad and surreal. These words do not define the process, simply the end result. What we are is more than what everyone sees when the process is complete.

We are amazingly powerful.