I had been in Hawaii for 10 days, in the most beautiful weather, and I was about to fly home that night. The plan was to drive up to the top of a crater and take in the view before driving back down and getting straight on a plane. Of course the artist in me would never allow that. My friends stayed warm in the car and then went to catch the sunset. They yelled for me to join them but I was having my own, private moment in the middle of a raining cloud.

I felt completely alone. I was miserable for part of the shoot. I was cold and wet and my feet hurt from jumping on rocks. But then the adrenaline kicked in, and even more than that was an overwhelming feeling of calm. When would be the next time I could see a view like that, or take a picture inside a cloud? When would I be able to experience this moment again? I never could. Not as it was just then, perfectly chaotic.

I calmed myself. I took a deep breath. I let tears come as I looked out at the clouds below me and they mixed with the rain water that was pouring from the part in my hair. I took one final self-portrait and let my feelings echo in bliss. An adventure had come and gone. I was ready to embrace something new.

Do something uncomfortable. Do something that scares you. Do something you would never normally do. Go somewhere. Appreciate where you are. See each new day as an adventure.

Be inspired.

We are not perfect. It is easy enough to say and we get told enough times, yet truly realizing that and being okay with others realizing that is something else entirely. I want to be perfect. I think that is a normal human reaction to life. We want to live as much as we can and give as much as we can and find perfection in our own ways. We will inevitably fail, yet striving for it nonetheless is the human condition.

I struggle with putting too much pressure on myself. I fail to recognize my success for as long as, perhaps, I should. The result is the need to do more. I want to live countless lives in one. I want to see everything, touch the hearts of as many people as possible. I want to live to live, not live to die.

I received an email from a very special person, someone who came with me on the artist retreat I hosted in the UK. In the sweetest, most motherly way possible, she told me that she worries about me. That she can see my energy drain by the end of the day. And she wants me to take care of myself. This sentiment is echoed by the friends in my life everyday, my family, and yet I ignore it as though a stranger were telling me my shoe is untied: Sorry sir, I’m late to an appointment. No time to tie it back up.

Life is such an interesting balance of contentment and restlessness. We strive to be content with what we have, yet we constantly search for more. We want to find happiness, yet when we have it, we know there is more out there. Life is an addiction that I love with all my heart. I believe it is to be cherished, yet also looked after. The decisions I find myself making, albeit for all the right reasons, aren’t always the healthiest for myself.

I need to slow down, this I know. I will burn out. My health will get worse. Yet I feel that burning desire to explore, adventure, inspire and be inspired. I am going to be on the road more than I will be home for the rest of this year, and I have more planned for the next. My point in writing all of this is not to say that I need to stop, nor even that I necessarily need to slow down in everything I do. I simply need to be more honest.

I need to find an honest place with myself and be able to share that with others. If someone asks me how I’m doing, I will always say wonderful. Because I am. I consider my well-being to be almost exclusively mental. I will answer that question with how I am feeling in my heart, not my body. And I believe that way of thinking is paramount to my personal happiness.

So this is me being honest with you. I am not always in good health. In fact, usually not. And to be honest, I don’t really care. I love experiencing life the way I do. It makes me that much more grateful when I can get out of bed and when I can push past my struggles. But next time I see you, and we ask how the other is doing, I might not be feeling so great. But inside, I’ll be the happiest girl in the world. So when I say I am wonderful, that is the most honest answer I can give.

Live in a world of gratitude, love and happiness.

How are you doing?

I didn’t understand why we had to perpetuate that stereotype of a certain kind of beauty and why so many didn’t speak up when it came to sharing their own uniqueness.

When I started taking self-portraits I lied to myself and said that I only made arms skinnier for a more streamlined look, because the image would be stronger if the lines were straighter.

When I began erasing the pimples from my back and face I said it was for a smoother finish, because pictures look better without all that clutter.

What starts as a few spots can turn into an airbrushed disease and we start looking at certain pictures and thinking, wow, I look pretty good there.

And then the pictures come out of the camera and we started to wonder who the real me is, the one I put online or the one I see in the mirror, and we wonder if that matters.

And when I realized that time would pass and I would age and I would only have false advertisements to look back on, how would that make me feel? My aged face and withered body reminiscing of a time when I looked so much better.

When in reality I never did look that good, or, if we’re speaking truthfully, “that good” is just a myth. There is no good or bad that we can capture with a camera, or Photoshop into pure perfection.

There is only the truth that we spread through the world, hoping that someone will notice the beauty that we all possess. And so we edit and tuck and nip and cover until we think we’ve achieved the best us we can.

And when someone says “you look beautiful” you’re not sure if you should believe them but you do, and you hide from the responsibility that we all have not just as artists but as people, as free thinkers who are powerful enough to change what beauty is.

Beauty is not a lack of wrinkles or clean and clear face, nor is it the long legged beauty you marvel at in your college class, or the beautiful golden hair that catches your eye on the sidewalk.

That perfection of beauty cannot be captured with a camera but is instead painted from within.

Every single day, we pass by beauty and don’t even realize it. We walk next to beautiful people, amazing individuals, who shine brighter than anyone who puts emphasis on the physical or the vapid or the shallow.

We stand next to people who could change the world, and who do change the world. We walk by people who have no idea how beautiful they are or the incredible self-worth they possess.

We find ourselves marveling at the wrong things, wondering why our visions of ourselves don’t match the real versions of ourselves.

We can change that indefinitely. We are powerful beyond measure. We are built to change our world. We are as beautiful as we believe we are. No exceptions, no limits, no boundaries.

Do not hide from your beauty. Do not let someone take it from you. Do not change yourself to become someone else’s ideal. Do not take a vow of silence about what matters most because you are a piece of art, and you should be seen by the world.