Recently I sat in a room full of brilliant women talking about careers and dreams and goals. One after another I heard hopes of changing the world through activism, spreading joy, and setting a strong example to others like themselves. When our formal presentations were finished, talk turned to social media. Gone was the language of dreams and hopes, of confident goals and paths forward. Instead, an air of questioning and pleasing replaced that confident conversation. The language changed to self-doubt and subservience.

In our goals for our careers, it is simple to say I will do X to achieve my dream, because we recognize the power that we ourselves possess to make those dreams a reality. But in the realm of social media and marketing, we believe we are subservient to the greater population.

Much of this ingrained belief comes from entitlement issues online. Not long ago I fell sick and was unable to keep up with social media for one full week. I ceased all communication and didn’t touch my phone. When I finally picked it back up, read my emails, saw my DMs, and took a breath, I was shocked. I received emails and messages from all types of people with a similar message: we expect an explanation.

Certainly, there were well-wishes and genuinely concerned people, but even so, the underlying message (and sometimes overlying), was the same: a demand for information. This happens in big and small ways, and sometimes it is the small ways that are the most destructive.

We post an image on Instagram. We hear instant feedback, sometimes in the form of silence. We share an opinion, and we instantly know how people feel about that. This alone is not the problem. The problem is that we, as the sharers, begin to feel that that however someone reacts to our provocation (even if it is silence), is the right way to react. We feel that their reaction validates our contribution.

WE FEEL THAT THEIR REACTION VALIDATES OUR CONTRIBUTION.

This is how we learn about entitlement through social media. Because our careers, our income streams, or (and this is the heart of the issue) our self-worth are tied up in how people react to our social offerings, we become beholden to how people interact with us online.

And it is the acknowledgment of that relationship that pushes us to explore how to tide the ebb and flow of social media in our favor. We study charts and graphs, take classes, hire mentors, obsess over SEO, and for what? To find the best time to post online, in the most engaging way.

But really, all we’re doing is finding the most effective way of being beholden to someone else’s desires.

When I sat in that room of women all sharing “tips and tricks” for social media, myself included, I recognized the deep emptiness that had entered the conversation. Why, when we talk about our dreams, do we speak so confidently about what we will do to make them a reality, but when we talk about marketing those dreams, we demurely ask how we can serve others?

My social media strategy, if you can call it that, is an intuitive one. I do not study numbers or charts. I don’t care when the best time to share on Instagram is, or what type of post does best, or how to create cohesion in your gallery. Once, I cared. But a lesson, deep and nourishing, crept in at some point:

You can get people to follow your work. You can get people to take notice, you can post at all the right times, you can build a successful business by doing “all the right things”. People do it all the time.

But you can build something real and lasting if you let all of that go.

There is a way forward through authentic and intuitive social media marketing.

It’s called trailblazing. This is my social plan:

1. Care about what you put out so deeply that others care too, no matter what time you share your post.
   
2. Speak about what you care about so deeply that others are compelled to speak back.
   
3. Stop worrying about if you will offend or put off or alienate with your work. You will. GOOD.
   
4. Let your passion be the light that brings people to you. Not gimmicks. Please not gimmicks.
   
5. Let people go. If you lose followers, they were never meant for you.
   
6. Stop using the word follower, it’s yucky.
   
7. Start conversations that you want to have. Don’t start a conversation if you don’t want to have it.
   
8. Find your purpose in everything that you do and share.
   
9. Never let the reason for sharing be to satisfy a statistic (ie: when you should post, what you should post, how you should post).
   
10. Let your legacy fill your marketing strategy.

Go forth and conquer, Passionates.

I have a couple problems with the way this question is phrased. First, the question itself seems a little bit crazy, because it assumes that there is a once-and-done solution to getting people to hit the “like” button online. The other problem is that it assumes that I know what that thing is. I don’t. My next problem is with the use of the word “follower”. It seems to me that if someone wants someone else to do something, creating a power divide simply in the wording of the situation is not beneficial. When you call someone a follower, you immediately define someone else as the leader.

Instead of wondering what the key is, or defining the situation in a certain way, remove yourself from it altogether and take a fresh look. It is a rare thing that someone knows exactly how to generate more followers on the internet. If they do, it is likely that they are paying money to get those followers through advertising, or that they are really up on SEO. The case is neither for me, nor will I assume that I know anything about social media.

But, if we’re pretending I do, then let’s break this whole thing down into more palatable terms. The beginning of the sentence “How do you get…” is one that I think needs to be changed. It should not be a question of how one “gets” followers, but instead how one simply engages more on a human level. We should not be trying to round people up like cattle, push them through the gate, and lock the door. It should be a give and take, a push and pull from one human to another.

The word “follower” is inherently negative, since it implies that the person you are trying to “get” is in some way inferior. Now I do realize that someone who “likes” a page on Facebook is now “following” someone else and what they do. But I don’t like to think of it like that. This is how I believe that is how communities are build: on the foundation of equality and mutual strengths. With that definition in mind, I aim to create spaces where anyone can speak their mind, where they feel safe to do so, and where I have an equal interest in what they are doing as they do in what I am doing.

1. WHY do you want to gain “followers” on social media?

Do you want followers or do you want peers? Do you want your “like” count to go up or do you want to create a community of strong individuals? Do you want to generate an income? Do you want to engage people with your art?

Why is it that you want people to join you on social media? And be honest about that. It is okay to say that you need to make money from your craft. That is a completely acceptable thing for an artist to do, and yes, having people find your Facebook page can be amazing for that. But at the heart of it, if you are only in the social media game to grow your number, it is unlikely that number will ever grow very fast, or very far.

Once you understand what your goal is, you can start to cater to that goal. My goal personally is to create a safe space where anyone can come to be creative, express themselves, and truly follow their passion. Therefore it only makes sense that I focus on community and giving back as two of my main topics here on my blog and social media.

2. What makes you feel good?

Let’s say you’re out with friends and one of them does something nice for you. What is one thing someone could do for you that would make you feel special? It might be someone complimenting you, showing you support, holding a door for you, getting you a present, etc…

Answer that question for yourself and then figure out how to put that sort of kindness into your interactions with people on your social media sites. If you like to receive gifts, perhaps do a giveaway on your site. If you like to receive compliments, genuinely find something you like about the people interacting with you and tell them. The list could go on and on.

3. What is your voice?

Kind of an annoying question, I know, because creative people like to talk about this all the time…but there is a reason for that. One must understand who they are and what their art form speaks of before trying to get others to listen to that message. Everyone has a story to tell. Everyone has a message that they are putting into their craft. Understanding that message and subsequently understanding what type of people that might attract is huge when it comes to building up your social media.

I know that the kind of art I create is dark, yet it is also fairytale-inspired and whimsical. Therefore, the types of people that would likely look at my work are those who are interested in the impossible, who love to dream, who like to see into a new world, and who like stories. Of course that won’t encompass everyone, but it certainly helps to give a start to what the people are like who might join my pages.

4. Use your voice!

Once you understand what your voice is and the types of people who might like to hear that voice, you can start to create content based around those ideas. If my work is dark and whimsical, it makes sense to write something dreamy to go along with my works because the voice of the writing and the voice of the image will then match. Think about who the people are that are coming to your page, and think about what they might like to hear. After all, they are being attracted because of something you created or said, so keeping that voice consistent is important.

This is never to say stop growing or do everything the same way. It is to say grow, and change, and develop while remembering who you are and who you want to be.

5. Treat everyone with equal respect.

How easy is it to absorb positive comments while getting angry about negative comments? Incredibly. Easy. Too easy, in fact. We so often ignore those who are being nice to us and quickly respond to those who would bring us down. Remember this, and remember it well: you need to decide what kind of a space you are creating. Do it intentionally, and stick to those principles. On my social media I allow everyone to have an equal voice. If someone doesn’t like something, I try to accept that graciously. If someone likes something, I try to do the same. And while the nice comments might not hurt and they make me feel a fluttering in my heart, at the end of the day I am grateful for both. I am grateful that people feel they can express themselves and that they won’t get shot down for doing so.

If that isn’t your policy, that is totally fine. Some people adamantly believe that if they didn’t ask for critique they should not have to hear it, and I totally see the logic in that. But whatever your theory, believe in it and stick with it.

I have a no hate policy on my page. If someone is saying something solely to hurt myself or someone else, I will block them. I don’t tolerate that type of behavior. But if someone is simply stating an opinion, no matter how contrary it is to my own, I let it be.

6. Recognize everyone’s importance.

Every single person has something meaningful to contribute. When you begin to see your social media experience as a give and take, you begin to treat everyone a little bit differently. Instead of posting something and hoping people flock to your post, you might comment back to other people, visit their pages or blogs, and seek their stories. Giving back to those who would give to you is an important way of showing your “followers” that you care. Without that sense of mutual respect, it is likely that people will not always return.

Yet sometimes social media allows me to inspire myself without even knowing it. Case in point – Twitter. I use twitter fairly frequently because I like to share about the things that inspire me. Yet every once in a while I start to write something that starts with negativity, either about what happened to me or how I felt about something. Every single time I find myself writing something like that, Twitter gives me a swift and constant reminder to stop thinking so negatively.

Bad things happen to people all the time, small or big or something in between. How we react to those situations defines us. So when I start to post something on social media that is in any way a negative outlook of the situation, I then solidify my belief in that negativity. I never want to perpetuate the idea that a negative outlook is the healthiest one to adopt.

So now, every time I start to write something negative, I stop myself. I realize that what I am saying does not portray me in the way that I want to be seen…or rather, as the person I want to be. I re-evaluate the situation and decide, wholeheartedly, to see the situation differently. The great thing about being on a computer is that you can edit yourself and change your opinion through carefully chosen words. It allows you time to really think about who you want to be, why you want to be that person, and how to put that out there in the most genuine way possible.

So next time you take to Twitter or Facebook and you want to say something negative, think about the impact you can have on other people and yourself. Sharing negativity, even in the smallest, seemingly insignificant ways, can bring other people down. It can bring YOU down as well. Take that 140 character box as a challenge to put goodness into the world. Take the photos you post on Facebook or the words you write in your status update as an opportunity to be the best you that you can be.

Have enough courage to encourage; have enough strength to support.

Share your Twitter link below, and then be sure to write something on your Twitter that puts positivity in the world. Something personal, something technical, something insightful…anything you wish. I’d love to read it.

My “Person I Want To Be” Twitter. 

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