I tend to be a very decisive person. I make decisions quickly and easily and I commit to them 100%. My closest friends, save for my husband, are just the opposite. It works out quite well, because they let me make decisions that we are all comfortable with. Trust me, there’s give and take. But by having those friends it has made me wonder what separates someone who has full confidence from someone who doesn’t.
I asked 5 friends to tell me if they trust themselves, and 4 of those people said that they trust other people more than themselves. I am that 1 in 5. I trust myself completely. I trust others very little. This might have something to do with confidence.
But in the end, it comes down to this simple notion. I believe that what I want will happen.
Some people see roadblocks as walls that can never be torn down. But I must ask, what in this world is permanent? What walls have we ever come across that we couldn’t get through, over, around, or take down completely? Nothing is permanent, not our successes, not our failures, not our confidence or insecurities. So why do we fiercely hold on to the idea that failure is imminent and success is not achievable?
Simple. It feels better than getting your hopes up and having them dashed.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m delusional. I say this because, no matter how far-fetched of an idea I have, I believe it will come true with such ferocity that I believe it has already happened. It’s just that time is a funny thing and I have yet to see it through.
The journey must come first,
but that doesn’t make the destination any less real.
How can we begin to talk ourselves out of giving up before we begin?
- Remember that nothing is permanent. We are all in a state of flux and will continue to be until we die. People, places, experiences will come into our lives and leave them. Each of those things will teach us a lesson. Let them. Let them come. And know that if you want something, you must let it come when it will come.
- Remember that timelines are arbitrary. Just because you feel, based on your comparison to those around you, that you should achieve something by a certain time doesn’t mean that you will. And if you don’t, that doesn’t mean that you’ve failed. Work harder and work longer. Let yourself fail a thousand times if you must before your desired outcome shows itself. The risk is worth it.
- Believe that what you want has already happened. Decide on something you want to go for. Now visualize yourself in the midst of your success.
- Believe in magic, but not as a replacement for hard work. Once you know your dream, work backwards from there. Figure out the layers that go into making the dream come true. Think of it like a cake. You see this amazing cake in a store window and you want to make one of your own. You can visualize what it looks like. You can even smell the raspberry filling. But simply envisioning it doesn’t make it real. You have to think about the ingredients that go into that cake – where will you get them, how fresh will they be, what colors will you use, what tools will best serve you? And only then, once your plan is in place, can you begin to build your dream.
- Few people actually know what they are doing. If I have learned anything as a photographer, writer and speaker, it is that the people who are doing the most amazing things don’t have a roadmap. They have a lot of confidence, a great idea, and the willpower to see it through. Most don’t have a million followers, “industry connections” or a ton of money. Never make the mistake of thinking that you are alone in being lost. We are all lost. It’s just that some people thrive off of it.
Next time you find yourself down and out because you are convinced that you won’t be the next Oprah, settle. Remember to stop anticipating your final discovery. Remember to trust yourself. Believe. Dream. And build the foundation on which you can rise to meet your expectations.