People often ask me how long I’ve been an artist. My standard answer is to say “7 years”, since that was how long ago I picked up my camera. Before that I was creating films in college. Before that I was writing short stories in high school. Before that I was writing poetry in middle school. On and on it goes.

The truth is that how we create is not what makes us artists. Being an artist is about the journey we take to express our personal truth. That journey meanders. It is not a predictable path, nor should it be. It is too easy to wax philosophical about the unknown, winding future and the beauty it holds. The truth is that most of us are scared of that path. We think it will be an adventure until we start down it, and out of fear we quit and find the easier way.

Being an artist is about doing what you know you should do despite the fear. Being an artist is not about being fearless but instead about being brave. Being an artist is about listening to yourself, even when you don’t see yourself clearly. It is recognizing that even a blurred vision of yourself is better than someone else’s version of yourself. It is creating despite not knowing how; it is finding your story when you think everyone else is more interesting.

An artist’s palette will ebb and it will flow. It will become grand and it will diminish. It will carry the weight of the artist’s soul and it will wash it back out to sea to be claimed by another sunset. That is the beauty of the artist’s adventure. So many people set sail for a destination, while others of us simply go. We let the emotion of the experience translate into an indescribable yet brilliantly articulate masterpiece. This is what we call our muse. This is what we call our genius. This is what we call ourselves.

The etymology of the word “art” goes back to mean “human workmanship”. I identify with this root insofar as most of the artists I know embody what it means to dedicate oneself to a craft. To do the work of what it means to be human – is this not the most pure form of art? To question what it means to be alive. To give yourself the most visceral human experiences. To work for a more meaningful life.

Our images, words, paintings – our greatest creations and even our lesser ones – flow from an intimate place. My images are so rarely related to my current situation, but when they are, they come from a place of understanding. When my emotion clicks with logic I am able to create with honesty like never before. This image is just such a time for me, when my world has been shaken, where I have been searching, and here it has come together perfectly.

For perhaps the first time in my art I have looked at a piece I created, which was done on a whim with the very last of the light outside my bedroom window, and I said “this is me”. Catharsis. Release. Understanding. I relish leaving myself behind. I fall in love with the possibility of who I will be. In this image I see so much of me. I see my insecurities and my doubts. I see my strength and my soul. I see my artist’s sensibilities coming out in their creepy way that defines me so deeply.

For three weeks I’ve had this image pulled up on my computer and my phone, looking at it many times every day, wondering why, out of all my images, I am so drawn to this particular one. The photographer in me wondered if it was the light, or the compositing, or the colors. The storyteller in me wondered if it was the use of symbolism or the character I had created. But the real me, the one that combines each of those people and so many more, knew the truth. I saw myself, pure as day, sitting right in front of me, raw and exposed in a way I had never witnessed before.

To see yourself clearly. To let yourself be known. This is my definition of Artist.

What piece of art have you created
that represents who you are or want to be?

“Catharsis”, June 2016, self-portrait
To purchase a print please contact the gallery nearest you.

These are a few that I’ve been told a number of times that proved to be untrue for my career. It is important to spot the advice that simply won’t serve you.

      1. You must produce work consistently.

Here is my problem with number one. It is not that I necessarily disagree with what it is trying to say, it is the pressure that it implies by it’s phrasing. We need to get more specific with the words if it can apply. For example, this sentence could read: You must share work with some consistency in order to maintain a social media following. That would be a fairly accurate (though not always) statement. However, the amount of work that I share is not in any way equal to the amount of work I produce. And that is because I share behind the scenes images along with videos, quotes, and more. It isn’t always my art, and that is okay – preferred, even. It gives me the time and space I need to create meaningfully without feeling pressured.

      2. You must shoot with X, Y, or Z to be successful.

I can hardly believe how many times I’ve been told that I need to evolve my way of working if I want to be successful. You need…a bigger monitor, a Mac, a better camera, more megapixels, professional lights, a soft box…the list goes on. And the thing is that each person telling me these things truly believes that it will help me to be a better photographer. Who can fault them for caring? I certainly won’t. But the problem is not them giving advice, is it us following it. Advice should be weighed as opinions, not facts. It is too easy for an up-and-coming artist to listen to opinions like that and buy into them, literally. And there are many instances where yes, upgrading gear or changing how you work might help your art and career. However, as artists, we must be secure in what we do.

I remember really distinctly a few years ago someone, referring to how I like to shoot in front of a white wall and composite my shots, said, “Call me in a year when you’ve learned how professionals shoot”. Now don’t get me wrong, it was said mostly in jest. But it stuck with me, because I believe that person really believed what they said.

I’m not generally popular among companies because I’m not fun to sponsor. I don’t use a lot of gear and I absolutely hate selling things. If only blank walls and bed sheets were in need of marketing, I’d be all over that. At some point in your career, hopefully sooner rather than later, you need to ask yourself a couple of questions. 1) Are you comfortable with your workflow? 2) Can more/different gear benefit me, and how? They are both great questions. I have expanded how I create. I learned how to use a layer mask in Photoshop (this was a big deal, guys). I learned how to use a Wacom tablet. But aside from that, it’s still just me, my tripod, and white wall at home that sets my creativity on fire. Grow, but not out of fear that your methods aren’t good enough.

      3. You must not create anything too polarizing or you’ll lose your audience.

Say what? My business was build on polarizing imagery! I’ve been given this advice many times and have heard others receiving this advice. And trust me, I totally get it. I am in a unique position where I don’t have clients on the day-to-day. Like any business that deals with customers, you might want to censor yourself somewhat to appease a greater audience of people. I am fortunate to be in the business of creating conversations, so my perspective is quite different. However, I am also a big believer in the idea that being your authentic self will attract your most authentic clients…the people you truly want to be around, who will appreciate what you do fully. I would rather have fewer clients who respect what I do than many who don’t feel strongly at all.

A friend of mine said the other day while we were filming a podcast together that if there aren’t people who love it and hate it then the artist is probably not doing their job. I thought that was definitely an interesting way of seeing art in general. Everyone has a different way of creating, and there is no right way. If you want to create happiness in everyone who looks at your work, I commend you for that vision. If you want to let people glimpse their own darkness, go for it.

The real problem with each of these statements is the phrasing “you must”, which indicates if someone does not follow what comes after those words, they will fail. Most of the greatest innovators are considered so great because they chose not to do what others said they must to succeed. They realized their own potential and accepted their choices as being good enough, and forged paths that no one saw coming.

Know your message and don’t let anyone convince you not to share it. 

I used to feel inferior if I couldn’t create an image every single day. Then I started looking at other photographer’s careers and realized that many artists limit how often they create. They don’t share a lot. They keep it under wraps. I started to feel inferior for putting out too much work. I started to feel like I had no concept of how this industry works. And that, right there, was my flaw. Somewhere along the lines I started thinking in terms of an “industry” instead of a “hobby”. I started to question what others were doing instead of living my life by my own rules. I had to distance myself, and so I have. I create when I want to create. I create because I want to create. And part of that creation process, for me, is sharing. And so I share when I want to share. Because your opinions add value to the work.

This year I have created 17 images. Is that a lot? A year ago I would have told myself to slow down. Is that only a little? Four years ago I would have been upset with myself for not creating faster. Now? I just don’t care. I love what I do. I love creating. And I won’t create based on anyone else’s standards.

I love giving myself regular check-ins, to make sure that I am making the healthiest choices for me and not for anyone else. I like to knock on my own door and ask how I’m doing. Because if not me, who? Now that we are almost into April, we have hit the quarter mark of 2015. So often people say that time moves too fast, but to me, it moves at just the right pace. I always feel like whatever time it is, it is the right time. And so, with it being March, I feel quite ready for a check-in.

These are some questions I ask myself:

1. How do you feel about the work you have produced this year? Quantity? Quality? Overall aesthetic?

2. Are you happy with how much time you have dedicated to yourself? Do you need to make more time for your passion?

3. Are you unhappy with decisions you have made this year? What specifically? How can you change course?

4. How can you take a more active role in pursuing your dreams? Look back at your New Year Resolutions and move one forward. What specific steps can you take?

5. Do you feel you have a good support system in place? Sometimes friends come and go. Make sure you are loved. Don’t have a community? Start one! Join a group. Create a group. Host a meet-up. Join a competition. Message someone you admire.

Top Tips & Exercises

A. Create a creation routine in which you set aside a certain amount of time each week to create. Next, create a routine for how you create so you can get more accomplished. For me personally, if I am stuck in a rut and simply want to break free, I begin with an inspiration exercise: 10 minutes of brainstorming. Next, I spend 10 minutes sketching and writing a description of a potential image. After that, I shoot, which will take roughly 20 minutes. And finally, I begin the edit. All of this can last 1 hour, and there is no pressure to finish. But once you’ve invested time into a creative project and you’ve gone through specific steps, you are more likely to come back to it and actually finish.

It doesn’t matter what your routine is, just as long as you have one in place. Knowing how you work best and then cultivating those circumstances is going to help tremendously in your personal progression.

B.  Have a night of fear & fun. Pick one night out of the week to do something that scares you, but could also be fun. A certain photo shoot, a social gathering, or something as simple as writing an email to someone you don’t know. Take a risk, set time aside for yourself to properly do that thing, and reward yourself once you have. Make it as fun as possible. Bring a friend to make a little party out of it. Challenge others to do the same. Define what scares you, and figure out a way to playfully address that fear.

 C. Reach out to someone in your community. I invite all of you to join my new Facebook group which is an extension of this blog. I will be posting weekly challenges, both personal and artistic, that anyone can participate in. Reach out to someone in the group. Tell them how much you admire them, or simply get to know someone on a deeper level. We are all looking for companionship from others who understand our struggles and triumphs.

I would love to hear your answers to the questions, any tips/exercises you may have to keep on the right track, or even your favorite/least favorite images from this year so far!

I hope you’ll join the Facebook group so we can grow this community further!

What are yours?

Do not beat yourself up for the areas you are lacking, but instead identify them and draw up a game plan to fix them.

I’ve got some major flaws. One is my disorganization. Another is my forgetfulness. I am sensitive and I’m scared…and I could go on and on. But having weaknesses does not make a person weak. Identifying what those weaknesses are makes one strong, and figuring out how to change your weaknesses can make you invincible.

If you are honest with yourself, no one can tell you something that you don’t already know. Think about how powerful that is! So this week, find the strength in your weakness. Figure out how to take control of your life. And celebrate what makes you awesome…because you are.

We are not perfect. It is easy enough to say and we get told enough times, yet truly realizing that and being okay with others realizing that is something else entirely. I want to be perfect. I think that is a normal human reaction to life. We want to live as much as we can and give as much as we can and find perfection in our own ways. We will inevitably fail, yet striving for it nonetheless is the human condition.

I struggle with putting too much pressure on myself. I fail to recognize my success for as long as, perhaps, I should. The result is the need to do more. I want to live countless lives in one. I want to see everything, touch the hearts of as many people as possible. I want to live to live, not live to die.

I received an email from a very special person, someone who came with me on the artist retreat I hosted in the UK. In the sweetest, most motherly way possible, she told me that she worries about me. That she can see my energy drain by the end of the day. And she wants me to take care of myself. This sentiment is echoed by the friends in my life everyday, my family, and yet I ignore it as though a stranger were telling me my shoe is untied: Sorry sir, I’m late to an appointment. No time to tie it back up.

Life is such an interesting balance of contentment and restlessness. We strive to be content with what we have, yet we constantly search for more. We want to find happiness, yet when we have it, we know there is more out there. Life is an addiction that I love with all my heart. I believe it is to be cherished, yet also looked after. The decisions I find myself making, albeit for all the right reasons, aren’t always the healthiest for myself.

I need to slow down, this I know. I will burn out. My health will get worse. Yet I feel that burning desire to explore, adventure, inspire and be inspired. I am going to be on the road more than I will be home for the rest of this year, and I have more planned for the next. My point in writing all of this is not to say that I need to stop, nor even that I necessarily need to slow down in everything I do. I simply need to be more honest.

I need to find an honest place with myself and be able to share that with others. If someone asks me how I’m doing, I will always say wonderful. Because I am. I consider my well-being to be almost exclusively mental. I will answer that question with how I am feeling in my heart, not my body. And I believe that way of thinking is paramount to my personal happiness.

So this is me being honest with you. I am not always in good health. In fact, usually not. And to be honest, I don’t really care. I love experiencing life the way I do. It makes me that much more grateful when I can get out of bed and when I can push past my struggles. But next time I see you, and we ask how the other is doing, I might not be feeling so great. But inside, I’ll be the happiest girl in the world. So when I say I am wonderful, that is the most honest answer I can give.

Live in a world of gratitude, love and happiness.

How are you doing?

Promote PASSION.

1. Encourage by example.

DO something, and others will be inspired to DO something as well. Action inspires action. The best way to motivate someone is to dive in first. Others will follow in their own way and time.

2. Try everything TWICE.

I have a rule for myself that states I will always try everything twice. Fashion photography. Brussel sprouts. Writing a book.

No matter what it is you’re trying, try it twice…at least. That is the only way you can avoid making quick decisions based on fear. The more you allow yourself to try, the more you can truly narrow down your passions.

3. Don’t apologize.

If you have a passion, shout it to the world. If you love something, don’t be afraid to say it. Call yourself what you are. Become what you do.

For example, one day, despite making almost no money from photography, I had to call myself a photographer. I didn’t really feel like one, since I thought all photographers were published in Vogue and made hundreds of thousands of dollars. Delusions. And then I realized that I was short-changing myself by not calling myself a photographer. By avoiding those words and skirting around the subject, I failed to instill confidence in other people about what I do, and I didn’t let my inner light shine.

So now I say confidently what I am, based simply on my passions and the hope that one day they can all be part of my business. I am a PHOTOGRAPHER, WRITER, SPEAKER, FILMMAKER, EDUCATOR…and above all else, I am a STORYTELLER. Not because I am great at those things, but because I love them.

I feel very fortunate for growing up in a house where creativity was not just encouraged but rewarded. I grew up writing magical stories and children’s books and poetry, and then when I “grew up” some more I went to college and studied filmmaking and literature, both completely scary degrees to have in the “real world” but they made me happy. In all of this time my parents never tried to persuade me otherwise. I heard the typical murmurings of how little money I’d be able to make with those degrees, but my mom would always respond by saying “Then you don’t know my girl…”, and so I felt validated.

When photography came into my life in a big way, I had a lot to consider. There were people telling me that it was unwise to jump so wholeheartedly into something as slippery as photography. They said I would never know where my paycheck would come from, and questioned me about specific money-making plots. I was both critical about that way of thinking but also practical, and for a time I answered all of those questions and did so with fervor until I realized that it was no one’s business but my own (literally). I owed nothing to anyone. It was of no one else’s concern where my paychecks would come from or how it would work, save for my husband who is a part of me.

It is so easy to get caught up in other people’s opinions. And depending on our lifestyles, we may never have lived outside that opinion bubble. I know that I was quite sheltered growing up, and that wasn’t because of my parents, it was because of me. I liked being sheltered and having the same people around me and being close to what I knew. My sister was the opposite, completely free-spirited and wild. Because I preferred living life that way back then, I only knew the opinions of those around me. I didn’t understand enough about life.

But when photography came around something shifted. I understood, almost instantly, what was at stake. It wasn’t that no one approved of my photography; on the contrary, they were very supportive. It was that, logistically, they were truly concerned for my well-being if I quit my steady job and went into…the arts. (said with suspenseful music in the background).

I suddenly had a passion so strong that doing anything but photography felt as though it would kill my spirit, and I value that above most else. So I did quit my job, and it took a lot of long conversations with those I cared about, and zero conversations with those who it wasn’t worth having.

When I began exploring different themes in my work, I would hear feedback about the content of my images. They are too dark. They are too creepy. There is too much nudity. This and that and no one could always be happy. But the thing is this: I was always happy. I was creating what I loved, which is no concern of anyone else. I think that we often forget that just because someone has an opinion, that opinion is not fact. It does not need to govern your life.

This can be exceptionally difficult when it comes to loved ones. For example, I met my husband when I was 16. We’ve been together ever since. He and I are joined in every way I can think of and when he has an opinion, I listen to it because I respect him. It can be difficult to understand when to take someone’s opinion to heart and I think one basic question needs to be asked: is your relationship worth sacrificing for the art? Some people are worth losing over this debate. That is plain and simple, and I don’t mean it in any negative way. There are people that bring us down in the world, people who we are better off without. We need not be friends with everyone, and it is best to surround yourself with those who will lift you up.

You are the only one in control of your happiness. If art makes you happy, you have a duty to perform. To keep that locked inside is a disservice to your well-being and to all of those who you might inspire. Art is rarely kept to oneself. These days it is shared, and because of that, inspiration is everywhere. Take what you love and share it. Others will love it simply because you do. And remember above all else that your opinion should be regarded at the highest level. It is not up to anyone else to inspire you, motivate you, encourage you, or support what you do; you need to believe in yourself first. And when you believe in yourself, others are sure to follow.

Oh, and you might also reference your awesome 90’s childhood and shrink yourself to lay on the peach for a photo while trying to teach someone the basics of food photography.

Or you might not. But here is the story of my week, and how it turned into the best sequence of events I could have hoped for.

2. I was exploring a cave in the forest when my husband said he saw a spine. A spine? I was intrigued. So we went and found it and picked it up. We threw it in our car and drove it home, and then promptly forgot about it after that 3 hour drive. And then, the next day when we remembered, we opened our car to find a big surprise. MAGGOTS. EVERYWHERE. And so I had to clean the car thoroughly, trying not to kill the maggots while also trying not to choke myself from laughing so much. I threw the spine in my yard, along with my vacuum cleaner, and went inside. The next day a neighbor showed up to ask if I was aware that something strange was residing in my front yard. I did my best to explain the situation, but her disgusted look and slow backing away from my house showed me she was very uninterested in my necromancy, and so I said goodbye. The spine still resides in my front yard, awaiting a good cleaning. It was made to be a star.

3. The next day I was on a walk next to my favorite part of my favorite creek, getting ready to shoot something I had been excited about for a week, when all of a sudden I noticed that I couldn’t see much through my camera. When I took the lens off, a piece of the inside had fallen apart, and my camera was unusable.

4. The day after that we found out that we have a cap on our internet and we had just used it all and got a fine. I type this to you from the beautiful Starbucks in town.

When something doesn’t go your way, you should see it as a challenge to be the person you want to be. React the way your best self would react. You will not be your best self overnight; it takes work and determination.

What went wrong for you this week, and how can you see the good side?

I found inspiration in wanting to re-create the image I saved over in Photoshop. A mistake for sure, and one that could cost my business, but an even greater challenge to do something better or more fulfilling the second time around.

I found humor in the spine story, and can’t stop giggling to myself whenever I think of it. It was like a reality show unfolding. Good stuff!

I found a slower pace for my photography when I realized my camera had broken. It gave me time to think more, shoot less, and put more intent into my images that I have planned for this coming week.

Having no internet has been wonderful, allowing me to take a day of rest for myself as I nosh on some fruit I photographed and watch Stargate SG1.

Each time life hands you a peach instead of a lemon, think of all the potential you would miss if you simply mourned the lemon. Life is too sweet to only taste the bitter.

You start to create despite people in your life telling you not to. You start to create despite that little voice telling you it won’t be good enough. You create because you are inspired, and it feels like the right thing to do.

You are good at what you do. You want to start a business. You worry about money. You worry about reputation. You worry about what people will think if you turn your passion into a career.

You have a career but the pressure is always on. Create something new. Create for your client. Create for yourself. But soon the pressure of creating takes the fun out of it.

So often, when someone starts a hobby or passion or career, these are the things that we worry about: being good enough, staying inspired, making money, looking good, losing it all.

Sometimes we spend so much time worrying about these things that we do lose it all. We forget why we were inspired to begin with and those feelings of passion are replaced with feelings of dread – not wanting to let anyone down, not wanting to let yourself down.

If I think about my hobby, which turned into my passion, which turned into my career…it is easy to think of the milestones which made me worry or cry or jump for joy. I remember struggling so much with money that I got a part time job as a personal assistant. I remember feeling guilt at how I was pursuing my dream but helping no one while I was doing it. I remember feeling like a fish so small I couldn’t possibly avoid the hungry mouths of the bigger fish. I remember feeling like I was someone, and wondering if someone else would take that away.

Over time our doubts ebb and flow. We have concerns and we step on them. We have fears and we confront them. But the one thing we will always have is an uphill battle, and that is a good thing. If we want to learn and grow and become the best version of ourselves, we will always be climbing that hill. And in my years of experience thus far, I have learned something very valuable:

The uphill battle is never just the money, or the reputation, or the competition. It is the hill itself, and willing yourself to climb even when life isn’t easy. It is the hill that never ends, the top reaching past the clouds, and you wonder when you will find relief. But if you learn to see the climb as a challenge and a gift, always teaching you, always nurturing you, you begin to nurture yourself. You adjust to breathing the air that high up, and your legs become stronger, and you push on.

And once you climb so high, you are above it all: the competition, the drama, the fear. Sure, there will be new battles all the time, but you will be better equipped to handle them as they come.

So if you are climbing that hill and you wonder if it will ever be worth it…if you feel stuck and out of breath and wonder if you should keep climbing: the answer is yes. Pursue your hobby or passion or career. Become yourself. Step into your life. Because all the concerns and aches and pains are worth the bliss of being who you are meant to be – unabashedly, proudly, and above all – inspired.

Model: Katie Johnson