I have been teaching for 8 years now, and I remember my first workshop like it was yesterday.

I used to shoot in this old warehouse. Half of it was still being used for some sort of materials company. I waltzed in one day and asked the owner if I could take pictures in the back of his shop. He said yes, and so a wonderful collaboration was born. I took pictures there countless times, even brought a dance crew there to photograph them…

And then, when I decided to host my first workshop (planning commenced in June 2010) I asked him if I could bring my workshop group there.

HUGE liabilities aside (it being a decrepit warehouse), he said yes, I announced my workshop, and it remains one of the neatest locations I’ve ever used.

I remember carefully planning out every single minute of the day. I remember feeling extremely confident in my curriculum. I remember freaking the heck out over my organization skills, if anyone would show up, and if they would find it valuable. I charged $200 a person and we did everything from inspiration exercises to shooting to editing.

My workshop structure has changed little since that first one. I spent hours upon hours planning it out and it worked.

I’ve been fortunate enough to teach at major conventions, go around the world with these workshops, and prattle about at Creative Live (it was an honor to teach their first fine art class).

You have trusted me, given me so much love, too many hugs to begin counting, friendships made, and experiences that have filled my 20s with so much appreciation. I’ve visited 21 countries on hundreds of trips. It has been out of this world.

Why give it up?

The answer isn’t what you may think.

On one hand, it is. I need to stop traveling so much. I need a break. I need to be home. I’m homesick even when I’m home because I know it’s just a week until my next trip.

But on the other hand, it is something very different that took a lot of growing up to realize.

When you teach your craft, you learn your craft intimately. It was the best decision I could have made to really, truly understand what I’m doing, and why. Nothing else compares, not hours of shooting or editing. It’s repeating that information in a digestible way that allowed me to understand my craft as well as I do. And how well I understand my craft, which I daresay is extremely well, is why I’m leaving teaching behind for now.

I’m in a new period of creative exploration. The baby stages. I don’t know what I’m doing yet. I explore it every single day. I’m not ready to teach it because I’m just getting to know it.

It’s like we’re getting tea for the first time, awkwardly not knowing if we should shake hands or hug, and we’re making small talk.

Some big conversations are coming on soon.

After that, I’ll be ready.

I’ll be ready to teach my new craft. I don’t know if it will be massively different or the same. I anticipate teaching writing workshops as well, something that, in more ways than you’ll understand, fulfills my childhood dreams.

But for now, I wait.

I don’t know if this break from teaching will last 2 months or 2 years. All I can say is that I am grateful beyond belief for your support thus far, for letting me guide you into the deepest realms of creativity, and for standing by me as I pursued this path.

I’ll continue on with my blog posts and videos, of course. But as for in-person education – that will have to wait until I’ve met my creativity, stared it in the face, and learned every wrinkle inside and out.

If you’ve been to a workshop, please comment below and let me know where we met!

(And maybe even your experience!)

If you’ve been to a class of mine, even if it was online, this is what I want you to know about me: I give everything. I am not someone who fears. I am someone who gives because I would rather see people uplifted and empowered rather than held back by knowledge that I could give but do not because I am afraid. I do not say that in vanity, I say it because it is a trait that I hold in high esteem and because I have built my life on that foundation. For my many, many flaws, this is where I hold my head high.

Teaching has taught me the kind of person I want to be. It is not someone who holds secrets close and guarded; it is someone who shares openly, with a heart like a sponge, who listens and aids and feels deeply. Thank you for letting me do this. It is an honor for which I cannot properly express my gratitude.

Want to take a class from me? While I am on hiatus from in-person education, I have classes on Creative Live that are extremely comprehensive and fulfilling:

Do you ever try to stuff yourself into the life of someone that you know you’re not but think you should be? Of course. We all do it in one way or another. We take jobs we know we don’t want, or go places we don’t really want to be, or even keep friends that don’t fit our lifestyle anymore. One of the ways I have done this is to overexert myself with traveling. Home is my heart in so many ways. But, just like fitting a mould, I wanted to love traveling. And, in so, so many ways, I do. I love experiencing new things. I am a good traveler and I entertain myself easily. I have adored my experiences.

It is not, however, where I cultivate my best self.

I have been traveling what feels like nonstop for years. I wrote about this recently when I talked about learning to say ‘no’. I want to go in more detail about why I feel the need to say no, and it isn’t just because of taking the “right” kinds of jobs or being tired or taking care of my health. It is much deeper than that.

I returned home from a trip last week, which I had been looking forward to because I knew it was my last trip until I had a full two months off from travel. I haven’t had two months off from travel in two years. I got home and after jet lag finally went away, I settled immediately into my happy place – my routine. Wake up just before 5am, hike, yoga, finish my emails, work on business and then dedicate myself to creativity, whether that be reading, writing or photography. I was drinking my yucky looking (but very yummy) green smoothies and finding more energy and getting overly excited about the little things, like moths and falling flowers and blue skies.

I was home – physically in my body, and in my mind.

I know, that sounds like hippie nonsense. But it is true in every sense. My body feels better, physically. My mind feels more focused. I am being more prolific. My desire to create is in full force. My ideas are flowing more naturally. I am more in tune with my deepest inspiration rather than the shallow variety (oh yes, there are many types of inspiration).

What an absolute joy to be in sync with yourself. For me, traveling feels like being out of sync.

I want to find deeper ideas, but they won’t come. I want to explore, but I am tired. I find an idea, but I don’t feel like creating it. My camera feels like a burden. My writing falls short. Out of sync.

I didn’t quite realize the extent of how bad I was feeling until this morning. I woke up smiling, I answered my emails so happily, with so much joy. I did yoga outside on a rock with the blazing sunrise behind me. I gave thanks for every little thing. It is easy to fall into a routine that isn’t natural to your being. Those kinds of routines feel like necessity, like waking up for a job you don’t like or traveling constantly or always being ‘on’ for social functions. Those routines can be learned but they don’t always bring joy. I woke up remembering what it feels like to, with my whole heart, desperately want to be in the life I am living.

I desperately want to be in the life I’m living.

What a way to feel, right? Now I have a standard to measure my decisions against. Would I feel desperate to live that moment, or would I rather let it pass?

Am I living in my bliss, or am I faking someone else’s?

What circumstances do you need to feel your best?

I’d love to hear the ways you feel your best, and maybe we can all learn a tip or two from any responses! Mine starts in being grounded (home), having routine (yoga/hiking, designated email time, etc.), and being able to set my schedule.

At the Promoting Passion Convention this year we will talk in depth about how to find/chase and be inspired by the life you want to live. How to creatively go after it, how to passionately live in it, and how to then encourage others to do the same. I’ve watched lives transformed from talking about this topic in the past and it is a beautiful thing.

Join us for PPC 2017 this year in Buffalo, NY from September 8-10, 2017. Spaces are very limited.

People often ask me how long I’ve been an artist. My standard answer is to say “7 years”, since that was how long ago I picked up my camera. Before that I was creating films in college. Before that I was writing short stories in high school. Before that I was writing poetry in middle school. On and on it goes.

The truth is that how we create is not what makes us artists. Being an artist is about the journey we take to express our personal truth. That journey meanders. It is not a predictable path, nor should it be. It is too easy to wax philosophical about the unknown, winding future and the beauty it holds. The truth is that most of us are scared of that path. We think it will be an adventure until we start down it, and out of fear we quit and find the easier way.

Being an artist is about doing what you know you should do despite the fear. Being an artist is not about being fearless but instead about being brave. Being an artist is about listening to yourself, even when you don’t see yourself clearly. It is recognizing that even a blurred vision of yourself is better than someone else’s version of yourself. It is creating despite not knowing how; it is finding your story when you think everyone else is more interesting.

An artist’s palette will ebb and it will flow. It will become grand and it will diminish. It will carry the weight of the artist’s soul and it will wash it back out to sea to be claimed by another sunset. That is the beauty of the artist’s adventure. So many people set sail for a destination, while others of us simply go. We let the emotion of the experience translate into an indescribable yet brilliantly articulate masterpiece. This is what we call our muse. This is what we call our genius. This is what we call ourselves.

The etymology of the word “art” goes back to mean “human workmanship”. I identify with this root insofar as most of the artists I know embody what it means to dedicate oneself to a craft. To do the work of what it means to be human – is this not the most pure form of art? To question what it means to be alive. To give yourself the most visceral human experiences. To work for a more meaningful life.

Our images, words, paintings – our greatest creations and even our lesser ones – flow from an intimate place. My images are so rarely related to my current situation, but when they are, they come from a place of understanding. When my emotion clicks with logic I am able to create with honesty like never before. This image is just such a time for me, when my world has been shaken, where I have been searching, and here it has come together perfectly.

For perhaps the first time in my art I have looked at a piece I created, which was done on a whim with the very last of the light outside my bedroom window, and I said “this is me”. Catharsis. Release. Understanding. I relish leaving myself behind. I fall in love with the possibility of who I will be. In this image I see so much of me. I see my insecurities and my doubts. I see my strength and my soul. I see my artist’s sensibilities coming out in their creepy way that defines me so deeply.

For three weeks I’ve had this image pulled up on my computer and my phone, looking at it many times every day, wondering why, out of all my images, I am so drawn to this particular one. The photographer in me wondered if it was the light, or the compositing, or the colors. The storyteller in me wondered if it was the use of symbolism or the character I had created. But the real me, the one that combines each of those people and so many more, knew the truth. I saw myself, pure as day, sitting right in front of me, raw and exposed in a way I had never witnessed before.

To see yourself clearly. To let yourself be known. This is my definition of Artist.

What piece of art have you created
that represents who you are or want to be?

“Catharsis”, June 2016, self-portrait
To purchase a print please contact the gallery nearest you.

For months, maybe even years, after I started taking pictures I longed for a day when my style would be consistent. Just when I thought I’d reached that point a gallery would tell me they are too different. And on days when I felt all over the place, someone would email me to say that all of my images look the same. It forced me to question why I so longed for images that were consistent from one to the next. The answer is one that most artists feel – a need to accurately convey their message. That ability often comes in the form of creating consistent work.

As I continued journeying through photography, my goal of creating works that were tightly related changed. I started putting more value on creativity and less on art. I put more emphasis on what it felt like to make my imagination come to life rather than thinking only of what it would look like in the end. I became obsessed with the idea that art does not have to look like any one thing. It should not be dictated by the people viewing it or buying it.

A couple years ago I looked at my portfolio and it felt stuck. It felt like someone had put up a roadblock and instead of finding a way around it, I simply built the same image over and over again. I hoped to find a way around it but instead I wasn’t able to see anything beyond it.

No longer did I just want to be creative, or express my imagination. I wanted to do so bravely. I would rather create with bravery than with fear. I wanted to create in ways that made me nervous, or that made me fear being misunderstood, or that invited criticism. This new image reminded me of that in the simplest way – visually. I have always been afraid of photographing backlight – such a simple thing, but something I was never comfortable with. And so I started last year and I continue on that little journey as a personal kick-in-the-pants.

I know that I, as an artist, get so caught up in doing things the “right” way or producing work that is consistent that I forget not to take it all so seriously. Who cares if everything we produce isn’t perfect? Or even good? Who cares if we experiment? Are we any less an artist because of it? I would say we are even more so.

Find your style – yes. Find your voice, and use it. Find the message that, beyond all other messages, is yours to tell. But never let yourself be trapped by those constraints. Let them be guides in the darkness that is the artistic path.

Surprise yourself. Let yourself down. Pick yourself up. Search. Do.

When was the last time you challenged yourself, and how?

This is what my Promoting Passion Convention is about – putting the journey before the image. Growing. Experimenting. And finding others who are on similar paths. I hope you can join us!

Promoting Passion Convention
Colorado Springs, CO
September 27-29, 2016
$350

The early bird special ends Wednesday and the price will raise to $390!

]]> https://www.promotingpassion.com/speed-edit-for-withdrawal/feed/ 4 https://www.promotingpassion.com/new-underwater-photography-work/ https://www.promotingpassion.com/new-underwater-photography-work/#comments Sun, 24 Apr 2016 23:46:18 +0000 http://www.promotingpassion.com/?p=3711 Read More Read More

Last year I had the idea to start filming music videos, whether someone hired me or not. I thought it would be an interesting medium to work in and since I have a film background, why not! I have shot two since then but they are still being edited, so I will share when they are finished. For my last video shoot we filmed underwater, and I grabbed a few stills while we were at it!

Shooting underwater is always wrought with challenges, but this shoot proved very simple in some regards. I rented a black bottom pool that was truly very dark, so editing the background and making the subject stand out became easy. I had an amazing model to work with, Sara Silkin, who is also a dancer and choreographer. She could move like nobody’s business under that water! And to boot, it was an overcast, rainy day in Los Angeles, so the light was wonderfully diffused.

The downside? It was COLD. That water was some of the coldest I have ever been in. Our model was turning a range of blue to purple to black, and so we could only shoot for a few minutes at a time with an hour in between to get warmed up again. It was extremely tough on my body and I definitely paid for it the next few days, but it was so worth it. I hope you enjoy the images!

Do you have a favorite?

Have you dabbled in underwater photography?

 

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These are a few that I’ve been told a number of times that proved to be untrue for my career. It is important to spot the advice that simply won’t serve you.

      1. You must produce work consistently.

Here is my problem with number one. It is not that I necessarily disagree with what it is trying to say, it is the pressure that it implies by it’s phrasing. We need to get more specific with the words if it can apply. For example, this sentence could read: You must share work with some consistency in order to maintain a social media following. That would be a fairly accurate (though not always) statement. However, the amount of work that I share is not in any way equal to the amount of work I produce. And that is because I share behind the scenes images along with videos, quotes, and more. It isn’t always my art, and that is okay – preferred, even. It gives me the time and space I need to create meaningfully without feeling pressured.

      2. You must shoot with X, Y, or Z to be successful.

I can hardly believe how many times I’ve been told that I need to evolve my way of working if I want to be successful. You need…a bigger monitor, a Mac, a better camera, more megapixels, professional lights, a soft box…the list goes on. And the thing is that each person telling me these things truly believes that it will help me to be a better photographer. Who can fault them for caring? I certainly won’t. But the problem is not them giving advice, is it us following it. Advice should be weighed as opinions, not facts. It is too easy for an up-and-coming artist to listen to opinions like that and buy into them, literally. And there are many instances where yes, upgrading gear or changing how you work might help your art and career. However, as artists, we must be secure in what we do.

I remember really distinctly a few years ago someone, referring to how I like to shoot in front of a white wall and composite my shots, said, “Call me in a year when you’ve learned how professionals shoot”. Now don’t get me wrong, it was said mostly in jest. But it stuck with me, because I believe that person really believed what they said.

I’m not generally popular among companies because I’m not fun to sponsor. I don’t use a lot of gear and I absolutely hate selling things. If only blank walls and bed sheets were in need of marketing, I’d be all over that. At some point in your career, hopefully sooner rather than later, you need to ask yourself a couple of questions. 1) Are you comfortable with your workflow? 2) Can more/different gear benefit me, and how? They are both great questions. I have expanded how I create. I learned how to use a layer mask in Photoshop (this was a big deal, guys). I learned how to use a Wacom tablet. But aside from that, it’s still just me, my tripod, and white wall at home that sets my creativity on fire. Grow, but not out of fear that your methods aren’t good enough.

      3. You must not create anything too polarizing or you’ll lose your audience.

Say what? My business was build on polarizing imagery! I’ve been given this advice many times and have heard others receiving this advice. And trust me, I totally get it. I am in a unique position where I don’t have clients on the day-to-day. Like any business that deals with customers, you might want to censor yourself somewhat to appease a greater audience of people. I am fortunate to be in the business of creating conversations, so my perspective is quite different. However, I am also a big believer in the idea that being your authentic self will attract your most authentic clients…the people you truly want to be around, who will appreciate what you do fully. I would rather have fewer clients who respect what I do than many who don’t feel strongly at all.

A friend of mine said the other day while we were filming a podcast together that if there aren’t people who love it and hate it then the artist is probably not doing their job. I thought that was definitely an interesting way of seeing art in general. Everyone has a different way of creating, and there is no right way. If you want to create happiness in everyone who looks at your work, I commend you for that vision. If you want to let people glimpse their own darkness, go for it.

The real problem with each of these statements is the phrasing “you must”, which indicates if someone does not follow what comes after those words, they will fail. Most of the greatest innovators are considered so great because they chose not to do what others said they must to succeed. They realized their own potential and accepted their choices as being good enough, and forged paths that no one saw coming.

Know your message and don’t let anyone convince you not to share it. 

I felt a transition coming on. You can always feel them from miles away but sometimes you choose to ignore them, and other times, you simply can’t. My world was shaking like a train was passing right by, and as often as I closed the curtains so I wouldn’t see it, the floor was vibrating with intensity. I wanted to change the way I created. I wanted to do something different and challenging. But I was holding on to a lot of creative baggage that I didn’t want to let go of. I had no idea how light I could feel. It turns out, stripping away that baggage is an ongoing process.

5 HANGUPS of creativity

We settled on a brown color, though which brown I did not know. I like bold change, and so I left the salon with dark brown hair…and I adore it. It is just the change I need to feel like a character again. When I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror I hardly recognize myself…I am a natural blondie after all. The other day I was thinking about this change, and although it is only superficial, had me thinking about more internal matters.

Noticing the stark contrast of my pale skin and the dark hair, I began to think about how white and black are perceived through symbolism. Very often the connotation is good vs. evil, and so I decided to create an image with that theme in mind. I used my hair to my advantage in this self-portrait, allowing it to pull me in one direction while my white dress pulled in another. So often we feel this pull: good/evil, life/death, right/wrong.

To create the image I photographed it on my patio, as I so often do, using my neutral wall as a backdrop. My hair was just dark enough against that gray color to isolate it and cut it out from the background to place it on one I photographed when I was in India a week or so ago. I started this shooting process by flinging my upper body forward with my hair to capture that portion. Afterwards, I began moving the dress behind me and capturing that movement.

Mind you, when I say “dress” I really mean “bed sheet”, as that is one of my favorite costumes. It is versatile, simple, and very inexpensive…my kind of costume! No matter how many dresses I buy, I always go back to different colored bed sheets as my favorite of all. There are so many possibilities with them!

Finally I knew that I needed a dust/dirt effect in my final image. I also knew that I needed to photograph something light for the dust on the dress and something dark for the dust on the hair. That was when I decided to photograph just one handful of “dust” – or in this case I used baking flour – and then invert the color when I needed to make it darker. By adding contrast to that shot, the background became darker while the flour became whiter, making it easier to isolate the flour from the background.

We talked a lot these last few days about personal story, and how important it can be to put that story out there for others to benefit from. It is healing for the artist and for others. I asked some of them to share what their story is, and I commend them for bravely stepping forward to do something which puts the soul front and center.

Aloha – blessings to all, as I so lovingly learned.

Image taken at the Red Sand beach here in Hana, modeled by Marsha Denlinger.