I’ve heard people counter the idea that with imagination we can create anything we want. Someone once said to me:

“I know that imagination is nice, but it won’t make the gray clouds outside go away.”

We can see through the darkness if we bring our own light. We can imagine and create and believe and see the world as we want to see it. If I didn’t believe in this, I would not be living the life I am living, and that is a life I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. We build our own fortune. We carve our own book of words to live by. We write the song of our life.

Art allows us to manifest these desires and visions. It allows us to spread our messages. It gives us power where once we felt nothing. It gives us hope where once we saw despair. And above all else, it gives us a voice. It allows us to speak through universal words that contain a thousand different meanings.

Imagination is the life-blood that flows through the veins of an artist. I believe all people to be artists. We do not manifest our art in the same ways. We do not all see the artist in ourselves. But it is there, sometimes sleeping silently, but always there, waiting. It is up to us to wake it.

What is your relationship with IMAGINATION?

But aside from reflecting on the things we’ve done, it is a chance to start anew. It is a chance to evaluate if you really are the person you want to be, or if you need to change something. For me, there is always something to change. The only question is what I am going to change. I spent the last year of my life changing course. I stopped doing a lot of the things I had done before – business and personal – and laid the foundation for a new life. This year, I am living it. Year 28 will be one of discovering my dreams. Dreaming bigger. Dreaming in my own way. Letting dreams define me.

I emailed someone the other day about a big project I’m working on. His response was “This is an absolutely crazy idea”. And that made my heart soar with joy. “Yes,” I thought, “that is the kind of life I want to live.”

Getting older means learning lessons. It means failing miserably. It means succeeding wildly. It means changing perspective on life. And this is what it has meant to me:

2. Life cannot be quantified in years. If I died right now, I will have lived the best life possible. This I can say with absolute confidence and love.

3. I would rather be crazy than boring. After all, I am the only one I can count on to entertain myself.

4. Not everything will work out, because if it did, we wouldn’t be able to see the gems through the dust.

5. There is never an excuse for boredom.

6. Being present in all that you do means you will never feel like life has passed you by.

7. Being genuine will get you farther than attempting to please people.

8. When you refuse to compromise your beliefs, you attract like-minded people into your life.

9. If you treat failure like an old friend, he will always be there to help you back up when he knocks you down.

10. Kindness should never be dependent on someone else’s actions.

11. Fears are friends wearing masks. Get close enough to see the face of fear.

12. Give your love without need for reciprocation. Receive love like you deserve it.

13. The words “best” and “worst” should never be used to describe someone. We will only look foolish when we are proved wrong.

14. Tell someone why you love them.

15. Live your life to make someone else’s life better.

16. Look forward to each day you grow older. The alternative is death.

17. If you build a community, take care of that community.

18. Dream as though it will happen.

What I have learned this past year can be summed up in these words: Love wholly. Give repeatedly. Create selfishly. Challenge yourself regularly. Live beautifully.

Goodnight, 27.

Good morning, 28.

—

If you would like to send along a birthday gift (trust me, this is not a crazy narcissist sentence…) you can donate to the Fibromyalgia awareness campaign I have running, create an image with a butterfly to raise awareness, or join me on May 9 for the Caterpillar Walk. Alternately, you can donate photo equipment for the photography school I am starting in India for survivors of human trafficking – The Light Space. Signing up for the new After Dark conference will help donate to the school. Or simply check out my Giving Back page for ways to get involved.

]]> https://www.promotingpassion.com/promoting-passion-week-61-birthday-reflections/feed/ 19 https://www.promotingpassion.com/promoting-passion-week-52-cracked-flawed-and-powerful/ https://www.promotingpassion.com/promoting-passion-week-52-cracked-flawed-and-powerful/#comments Mon, 22 Dec 2014 16:24:31 +0000 http://www.promotingpassion.com/?p=2385 Read More Read More

When I was visiting a vegan restaurant in Phoenix we saw them promoting the idea of a cruelty-free holiday, and have fallen in love with the idea. I have been vegan for 2 1/2 years, and far more than it being a diet, it is a way of life. It is infused in every single decision I make, from how I treat animals to how I treat other people, to how the choices I make impact the world.

Given that this holiday is so much about compassion for me, I wanted to talk about ways that we can incorporate compassion, kindness and generosity into our lives this week.

1. Write a letter to someone you care about.

Gratitude. It reigns as king in a world where happiness is priority and everyone can benefit from a little loving. Send your thanks to someone with the written word. Let them keep those words close. Share your love.

Here is a video all about GRATITUDE and how important it is for HAPPINESS.

2. Sum up the 3 events in your life that are most meaningful to you.

Be grateful for the experiences you’ve had. Something wonderful can fuel more amazing experiences. Something terrible can change your way of viewing the world. Whatever your experience, focus on them and why they were so meaningful to you. Finding meaning in the past promotes a more meaningful future.

3. Name something you have done for yourself that has been a positive force in your life.

You are the life-force behind the decisions made in your life. Give yourself some credit for making choices and allowing your life to move forward. What is one thing you have done for yourself that was a change for the better?

4. Figure out one way to help a stranger.

Give someone a card. Give someone a hug. Hold a door for someone. Buy the person in front of you in line a drink. There are countless ways to help people, and whether they need it or not is not the question here. The fact is, you never know what a person is going through no matter how well-off they look, so show kindness to someone today.

5. With some extra money you have, buy someone a meal who needs it.

Especially around the holidays it is easy to see a separation between those who have and those who have not. Buy a meal for someone in need, or donate to your local food bank. It can make a huge difference in someone’s life.

6. Find an artist online and show them you appreciate their work.

Find a way to support an artist you love by giving them some kindness online. Heck, find anyone you think might need a few words of encouragement – someone who you think is doing something great – and share your kindness.

7. Buy a card for someone you love and mail it.

What is better than getting a card from someone and being reminded that someone is thinking of you? I love getting cards in the mail, though it happens very infrequently. Spend the $5 and mail a card, or make a card and send it out…it can cheer someone right up who just might need it.

8. Next time you find something frivolous that you want for yourself, use the exact amount it costs to buy something for someone else.

See a lamp you want, or a dress, or a sweater, or a hat…look at the amount, write it down, and use that amount you felt you could spare for yourself on someone else. It feels amazing.

9. Find someone you’ve lost touch with and let them know you’re thinking of them.

We all have friends we’ve lost track of over the years. Take a moment to contact one of them and let them know that you still think of them and wish them well.

10. Adopt a Turkey, Eat a Field Roast.

I am a passionate vegan, and I do my best not to talk too much about it on my blog. Why? Fear of people getting annoyed, I suppose. But what is so much more important to me is that we try our best to promote gentle and kind actions toward all living creatures and our environment. So this year, when you’re thinking about a big Thanksgiving dinner, I sincerely hope you’ll consider adopting a turkey instead of eating one. They are amazing creatures who deserve our love and compassion.

At Farm Sanctuary, you can adopt a turkey by spending $30 – the average amount a family would pay for a turkey for their meal. That money goes to the farm to continue the welfare of these animals. Instead of having turkey, which I know is a beloved family tradition, try out a field roast or an alternate form of meat. It will be entertaining, if nothing else. Or try a new centerpiece from whole foods – it could surprise you!

11. Check out the “Giving Back” page of my blog for ideas of how to donate your time to charities in need.

Did you know that the number one thing that can effect happiness is how grateful you are?

Gratitude, kindness, generosity, compassion…these are the things that give us a sense of fulfillment. These are the acts of service that truly make a difference in how we feel inside as well as how others feel as a result. The more we promote our passion, the more we can promote the passion of others. The more we love ourselves, the more we can love other people.

Everything begins within. The most radiant form of kindness starts inside and expands outward. Find your empathy today. Find your compassion. Be kind. Love wholly. Be present.

Happy ThanksLIVING, everyone. Thank you for being part of my passion and for sharing yours with the world.

Will you be putting any of these suggestions into action? Or do you have another idea of something kind to do?

Share how you plan on spreading the kindness in the comments, and I will randomly select one person to receive a costume from my collection.

A couple days ago I was in Portland, and I was flying home with my friend and sister. On the flight we got separated, so I sat toward the front of the plane while they sat toward the back. In order for them to sit beside one another, they asked a man if one of them could switch seats, and he obliged. Not only did he oblige, he also made a comment along the lines of how grateful he was didn’t have to sit next to me because I look like I smell bad. Apparently he had made note of the three of us in the airport and decided it would be very bad to sit next to me on the airplane.

When my friend and sister got off the plane, they ran to me to tell me this story. “How crazy!” “How funny!” These were the things we laughed about as they told me what had happened. And yet, the more I sat with the story, the more I started thinking about the complete lack of tolerance and kindness that was displayed throughout the occurrence.

I dress a little bit differently, it could be said. That day I was wearing brown boots, a gray baggy skirt, a tan shirt with big sleeves (my favorite!) and a brown sweater with a headband. I layer a lot most days when I travel (and even when I don’t…my friends joke that I am slowly disappearing) so that I can fit more in my suitcase and carry the bulk with me, plus I get cold a lot. I had noted that morning that I was looking a little more…bulky…than usual because of how much I had to fit in my suitcase. But that said, I love the way I dress. It might be a little different and I might get frisked at airport security a lot, but it is me.

I can’t help but think of that man’s snap judgment, that because I dress differently and because I had a lot of layers on that I must be an awful person to sit next to on the plane. My sister and friend both mentioned how he was completely serious, looking very relieved that another situation did not transpire. And yet…

Think of how much we can change people’s minds. Think of that incredible ability we all possess to change how people see us, how stereotypes are perceived, and how we treat each other, too. We are all powerful beings. We all have a story inside worth letting out, no matter what our circumstance.

This whole experience makes me want to be so much kinder to strangers I meet. After all, strangers are friends we have yet to make. I believe in my ability to change someone’s life just the same as I believe in anyone’s ability to do just the same. I believe it is possible because I’ve seen it happen; I’ve had my life changed. A stranger can help you see perspective.

I imagine I’ll be more aware of how others perceive me, since that is something I have rarely considered before. But instead of changing how I look or covering myself up or revealing more skin, I’m going to be totally, completely me to everyone I encounter. I’m going to say what I want to say, and remember that kindness breeds kindness. The only way we can fully understand love is to give love.

Even if someone doesn’t see you for who you really are, or if, by chance, a stranger on an airplane calls you stinky…take it as a challenge to be the better person. Take it as a challenge to show them a side of you they might not have seen immediately. Take it as a challenge to show them love. Show them kindness. Show them change.

So, dear man on the plane, who happens to think I’d be a terrible person to sit next to, if ever our paths cross again… I will be sure to wear an air freshener around my neck so as not to scare you off. I will sit with you and share my story and listen to yours, and prove to you that how a person looks just might be secondary to how a person feels, and certainly what a person deserves. And how a person feels just might be enough to change the world.

With love,
Stinky

“He did each thing as if he did nothing else.”

We live in a world built on pressures; the pressure to be successful, the pressure to be happy, the pressure to be someone great. We are taught, not necessarily by our parents but certainly by other influences, that we both need to reach higher yet stay in our place. We are taught to get a stable job and work for the promotion. We are taught to seek someone wonderful to marry so that we may find stability. We are taught that we should have dreams, yet work for the good of the team. And indeed, each of these things can be individually rewarding. Yet the lessons we are taught by those who influence us, especially as we grow, are very often contradictory.

Instead of being taught to dream big and do what we need to do to achieve that dream, we are taught to dream realistically. Instead of being told that we can be great, we are told to try and be great while staying inside the confines of what is socially acceptable. Each of these paradigms is what ultimately holds so many people back from doing what they love or defining happiness for themselves.

Part of the problem is how widespread we are as individuals. We do what we think we need to do to serve others, and in doing so, very often, forget to serve ourselves. We please our parents and we please our friends and we take care of children and we help our boss, yet behind all of that is a sense of self. We are taught that we must please those higher up than ourselves, that we must obey our parents, that we must, must, must. And behind all of those “musts” is what we need to nourish our souls.

“He did each thing as if he did nothing else.” I think this quote is so powerful for two reasons. One is of presence. To be present is to perform each task as if it were the only one; to get rid of distractions and embrace a life in the now. The other reason why I love the words so much is what it implies about the man himself. In order to do each thing at such a level, one must place value on the self so as to see value in doing anything at all.

I do not believe that this quote indicates he did everything better than other people, but instead that he placed value in each thing that he did and was engaged enough to focus his energy into them. So much of our problem today lies in two places: distractions and self-doubt. We doubt ourselves because we are told to, whether directly or unintentionally. Take going to school for art. If you are someone who has done this, it is very likely someone along the way told you how impractical that would be. In my case it was deciding to be a photographer. I had no training and no idea of how to run a business, but my heart was set on it. And as a result opinions came out of the woodwork, and I was told of how practical I needed to be.

“People don’t make money selling art. You need a backup plan.”

These words are commonly spoken and meant to be caring most of the time. Yet at the same time, they inadvertently tell the person to whom they are spoken that they are not good enough, will not succeed, and should not try. With messages like this floating around everywhere, self-doubt is a disease that plagues many, and understandably so.

What if we could channel some of that Charles Dickens magic and create a world for ourselves where we did each thing as if we did nothing else? What if we made decisions that could change our lives, and do change our lives, and we lived them as though nothing else mattered? To be present, to get rid of distractions, to believe you are worthy of pursuing such goals…that is the ultimate in finding your voice and finding a story for your life.

How can we get rid of the doubt and the anxiety and the distractions? Two simple ideas: The first is that few people care about you as much as you care about yourself, and the people who might care more are the people who will try to keep you safe. You need to take risks. You need to do something scary. And those who love us most will often hold us back, in the kindest way possible and for the very best reasons. Yet we need not listen. We must move forward. The second thing to realize is that you are the only one making decisions in your life. If we place the blame on other people for offering their opinions, we are living life in the shadow of someone else. A journey in the shadow of another is a very dark road.

Every single person has an incredible, unique story and vision. That story needs to be told, and that vision expressed, and to do so is to empower others to do the same. Dream big and dream often. Find your voice and share it. Tell the story of your life through your own words. And next time you take a leap and do something important, do it as if you did nothing else. Do it wholly, with confidence and pride, and do it with love…for yourself, as much as others.

**Image by my friend Seth Cashman, who is as kind and true as he is talented.**

I created an image of a blue origami crane not too long ago, and accidentally saved over that high-res Photoshop file as a smaller image before I backed it up. Totally, 100%, stupidly my fault. I was upset about it. I wasn’t even sure of what to do, since a gallery had already expressed interest in showing it. It wasn’t just me I had let down. So I broke the news, and everyone moved on without a second thought, and I decided to not let it upset me.

What good is doing what you love if you dwell on the bad? Bad things will happen whether we want them to or not, just as the good will. The only difference from one life to another is how we choose to see those situations. I’ve seen people with almost nothing to live off of smile and laugh as though they had everything; and opposite, I have seen people with everything who are miserable. I like to think of life as an illusion. We make it up as we go, and our reactions to the world shape how we understand the world.

This might seem a bit dramatic for a lost file, but that event simply sparked change in me to live life to a greater degree: to care less about the truly unimportant and to care more about what matters. I made a decision in this instance to stop thinking about how sad I was to lose the picture, and instead create a new one that I love. I thought about recreating the image exactly, and I still might attempt it, but for the moment I was freshly inspired and decided to go a different direction.

I put more story into the new picture, adding a Mother Nature theme and titling the image “Empty Nest” to bring home the idea that we all lose something, and it is our job to see beauty in the darkness. There is always beauty waiting to be discovered, and one could argue that there is always darkness, too. We have this tendency to see the darkness all around us, so if we search for beauty we are always traveling, looking for light, and experiencing all the goodness there is in the world.

Do not push away the darkness; shine a light on it.

These are 5 ways that could help in overcoming adversity:

1. Let yourself feel it…

Let yourself be angry, sad, upset, etc…It is natural and healthy to feel emotions. But don’t allow those negative emotions to define you.

2. What if someone were watching…

React to situations the way you would react if someone you didn’t know were watching. We have a tendency to become complacent in how we react to the world because it becomes routine. But what if you had to make a good impression? How would you react?

3. There is always something out there…

Terrible things happen in this world, a million times worse than losing a silly file. No matter what the situation, you are at the center of it, and it can feel very dramatic. Remember that when you do move on, there will be more to discover and be impassioned by.

4. Channel your emotion…

Learn to see your emotions as inspiration for your art. Turn that emotion into an image, or whatever your artform is, and be inspired by yourself.

5. Know who you want to be…

Write down 5 words that describe the person you want to be in the future. This is something to work toward. How would that person react to the situation?

INSPIRED
KIND
LOVING
AMAZED
CENTERED

What are your 5 words?

The world owes you nothing.
You owe yourself everything.

If ever I begin feeling sorry for myself because of how unfair life can be, I remind myself of how untrue that is. Life can be harsh, but the way we handle those situations can light our life for years to come. We have truly unlimited power to give ourselves the nourishment we need to move forward, dream big, and succeed at living a beautiful life.

In times of clarity I realize that, if we boil our experiences down to the basics, the lives we live are nothing more than giving ourselves power, or taking that power away. And what I have found, time and time again, is that if we are not empowering ourselves, it is rare that someone will do it for us; or if someone does, it rarely sustains us. We are in charge of managing that immense responsibility for ourselves.

Lift yourself up and see a future made of dreams rather than a past filled with failures. This is the only way forward; all else requires stagnation.

What do you owe yourself that you have been holding back?

Beauty, power, creativity, freedom, love, expression?

I’ve been counting the months until I would be able to go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Oh yes, I adore Harry Potter…more than you are understanding right now. So when I got the chance to give a lecture in Florida, I immediately resolved that I would be going to visit the Harry Potter theme park. It was Tuesday. I woke up in a flurry of excitement very much like I used to do as a child on the summer day when I would get to go to Hershey Park (my local theme park) once a year. I put on my best magical wardrobe that I had traveled with (completely with fairytale white dress, TARDIS knee socks, a cloak, and pigtails) and headed out the door.

When we started walking up to the park, I realized that I had forgotten my camera. I felt heartbroken! I wanted so badly to capture the magic of the day. We didn’t even have cell phones with us. So it was decided that when we got into the park, despite it being far overpriced, we would buy two disposable cameras. I hadn’t used one in about 7 years, and holding it in my hand felt magical somehow, as though I had stepped back in time to when that was normal. I loved not being able to see the pictures I was taking. I loved not worrying about camera settings. I just took pictures of everything that made me happy, silly or not, and I was completely content.

I got many knowing winks and nods and shouts from people who recognized my Doctor Who socks and even waited in line with someone I went to college with, all the while approaching the wand shop (my favorite thing). When I finally got to go inside there was a demonstration of how to use a wand, and myself and my sister-in-law were chosen to demonstrate the feat. I was over the moon. I was smiling ear to ear and couldn’t believe that I had been chosen. Yes, chosen. Don’t hate.

After my wand chose me and I got to perform a spell in front of the crowd I hurriedly moved into the wand shop to purchase my pride and joy…a tourist trap, perhaps, but completely worth the money spent. To feel like a child. To feel magical. To feel powerful. To believe in make-believe. A wand is just a stick in the wrong hands, as so many things in life are. Any situation can be turned negative or positive. Any part of life can be seen with magic or without, and it is up to us to decide which side we are on: the side of magic, or not.

The pictures I took with my disposable camera show the happiest of memories. I was beaming all day long and still am, thinking of how in control I felt over my happiness. I truly felt as though I let the magic in me shine.

I had a health scare with my mom towards the end of last year, and it was a sad but necessary reminder of the fragility of life. I am grateful that I have had this long with her, and truly any moment could be the last. The same goes for everyone, and perhaps that is why I have been increasingly interested in making connections that really mean something rather than letting people flit past me without a true understanding of who they are.

When my mom landed in the hospital last year, it was a shock while at the same time being something that we knew could happen. She is the strongest person I know, yet also has Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis, and her health has always been fragile. I didn’t even know she was in the hospital. She didn’t want me to know because she didn’t want me to worry. That’s just who my mom is…a mom through and through, someone who puts other before herself and never wants anyone to worry.

But worry I did, and that worry lead me to this photo series: photographing the people closest to me before they pass. When my mom came to visit in December we did a photo shoot together. Not a far-fetched idea considering my mom is insanely photogenic and loves the camera. My dad assisted, throwing her dress and hair in the air for me, while my mom twirled and danced and ran from the camera, coy and energetic. It was a time I will never forget, and if I do lose her sooner than I feel ready for (but then again, that is the way with everyone), I am so glad I have this image and the memory of creating it to represent who she is to me.

Thank you, mom, for who you are and what you have given me. It is far more priceless than this photograph, but for now, it is all I could think of to give. Sometimes even the smallest gestures speak volumes about the heart.

Do you photograph the people you love, or document their lives in some way? We are storytellers, and I feel now more than ever it is my job to tell the stories of those around me, even if it is in my own twisted voice. Do you have any unique experiences with love and loss? If nothing else, I am inspired to think about the abilities we have with our creativity in new ways.