When I began making images, it was entirely selfish. I wanted to have control over my creativity, I wanted to see how much I could learn. I enjoyed the process and soon I learned that I wanted a career. Half a year into creating, I knew that photography was becoming a much larger portion of my life than pure selfishness would allow. I wasn’t only creating for myself, I was creating for others.

For all of my creative adulthood I’ve been told by professors, other creatives, friends, etc., that you should ALWAYS create for yourself and not for others. After all, the hallmark of an Artist (with a capital A, of course), is that they create because they are compelled, because they have the muse within them, because they must.

As I became more motivated by creating for others, I started to wonder: Does that make me less of an artist? Does that mean I’m selling out?

[Which, if you’ll allow this side-note, I am DONE with the word “sellout”. Way too often we use that word to describe other people we are jealous of. Or a situation we don’t understand. Sometimes it is applicable, but it is too negative to fit into my vocabulary. End side-note.]

It took me years to reconcile these questions. And it took me years to train myself to create for the right reasons.
[Ie: Not the social media attention. We’re being honest here.]

Recently I was at an event where I was chatting with someone I would see occasionally at such events. Our conversation really stuck with me. This person praised me for really creating art for myself. I countered by explaining that I actually really love creating for others, too, and that a big motivating factor in my creation process is wanting to make something someone else will be touched by. I’ll never forget the look they gave me that was surprise mixed with a bit if disgust.

Reading between the lines, the word sellout formed in the air.

We had a discussion then about what it means to create for others vs. yourself, and there was a definite feeling that if you are a real artist, you create for yourself. This isn’t the first time I’ve encountered that way of thinking. I used to believe in it vehemently myself.

And, let’s be honest – I benefit tremendously from my art. On a personal level, of course, by feeling fulfilled and working my imagination. Financially, by affording a house. Energetically, by setting my own schedule. Spiritually, by traveling and learning about new cultures. My art is selfish in those ways, and I don’t want to trade that in.

But I would be lying if I said that I would have created everything that I’ve created if it was purely selfish. I am motivated by how much we can change the world through our actions. There are days when I didn’t want to create but the thought of who I might touch roused me into creative motion. If that sounds delusional, or self-centered, let me say two things:

1. It took me a long time to develop enough self-esteem to love my art and believe in the power one individual has to change the world.
2. I have witnessed how impactful art is for people, from fellow Americans in my workshops to girls in India who have never witness art like that, who understand the stories I’m telling even though our circumstances are radically different. I’ve seen art heal.

I think back often to 2009 when I had just started creating and I removed an image from the Internet because it didn’t have enough likes. Then my friend emailed asking where that image was, and I told her I removed it, and she told me I shouldn’t have because it brought her such peace after having a miscarriage.

I remember hearing from someone that they were going to take their own life, but after seeing an image of mine, they felt understood and didn’t go through with it.

These are stories I hear too often. And I’m not the only one. I’m not trying to insinuate that my imagery has magical healing powers. I’m not even trying to say that it is special in the grand scheme of the world. Who knows.

What I am saying is this: What we do with our time will touch the lives of others. We might as well create with the greatest impact for good.

That doesn’t mean what you create has to be cookie-cutter if you don’t want. My images are WEIRD, CREEPY, and UNSETTLING for many. Sometimes, most of the time, it is those exact qualities that resonate.

I remember being told for the first time, but absolutely not the last, that my work has no place in the art market. That no one would want to hang what I create on their walls. Whoever dares to tell an artist that doesn’t understand humanity. There is something out there for everyone. Right now, there is someone in the world who will benefit from seeing your art. It doesn’t matter what form it takes, how weird it is, or how normal. Someone out there needs you. Period.

1) Do you believe you have the
power to change the world for the better?

2) What value do you believe your art adds to the world?

Do you ever try to stuff yourself into the life of someone that you know you’re not but think you should be? Of course. We all do it in one way or another. We take jobs we know we don’t want, or go places we don’t really want to be, or even keep friends that don’t fit our lifestyle anymore. One of the ways I have done this is to overexert myself with traveling. Home is my heart in so many ways. But, just like fitting a mould, I wanted to love traveling. And, in so, so many ways, I do. I love experiencing new things. I am a good traveler and I entertain myself easily. I have adored my experiences.

It is not, however, where I cultivate my best self.

I have been traveling what feels like nonstop for years. I wrote about this recently when I talked about learning to say ‘no’. I want to go in more detail about why I feel the need to say no, and it isn’t just because of taking the “right” kinds of jobs or being tired or taking care of my health. It is much deeper than that.

I returned home from a trip last week, which I had been looking forward to because I knew it was my last trip until I had a full two months off from travel. I haven’t had two months off from travel in two years. I got home and after jet lag finally went away, I settled immediately into my happy place – my routine. Wake up just before 5am, hike, yoga, finish my emails, work on business and then dedicate myself to creativity, whether that be reading, writing or photography. I was drinking my yucky looking (but very yummy) green smoothies and finding more energy and getting overly excited about the little things, like moths and falling flowers and blue skies.

I was home – physically in my body, and in my mind.

I know, that sounds like hippie nonsense. But it is true in every sense. My body feels better, physically. My mind feels more focused. I am being more prolific. My desire to create is in full force. My ideas are flowing more naturally. I am more in tune with my deepest inspiration rather than the shallow variety (oh yes, there are many types of inspiration).

What an absolute joy to be in sync with yourself. For me, traveling feels like being out of sync.

I want to find deeper ideas, but they won’t come. I want to explore, but I am tired. I find an idea, but I don’t feel like creating it. My camera feels like a burden. My writing falls short. Out of sync.

I didn’t quite realize the extent of how bad I was feeling until this morning. I woke up smiling, I answered my emails so happily, with so much joy. I did yoga outside on a rock with the blazing sunrise behind me. I gave thanks for every little thing. It is easy to fall into a routine that isn’t natural to your being. Those kinds of routines feel like necessity, like waking up for a job you don’t like or traveling constantly or always being ‘on’ for social functions. Those routines can be learned but they don’t always bring joy. I woke up remembering what it feels like to, with my whole heart, desperately want to be in the life I am living.

I desperately want to be in the life I’m living.

What a way to feel, right? Now I have a standard to measure my decisions against. Would I feel desperate to live that moment, or would I rather let it pass?

Am I living in my bliss, or am I faking someone else’s?

What circumstances do you need to feel your best?

I’d love to hear the ways you feel your best, and maybe we can all learn a tip or two from any responses! Mine starts in being grounded (home), having routine (yoga/hiking, designated email time, etc.), and being able to set my schedule.

At the Promoting Passion Convention this year we will talk in depth about how to find/chase and be inspired by the life you want to live. How to creatively go after it, how to passionately live in it, and how to then encourage others to do the same. I’ve watched lives transformed from talking about this topic in the past and it is a beautiful thing.

Join us for PPC 2017 this year in Buffalo, NY from September 8-10, 2017. Spaces are very limited.

Fear is a funny thing. No matter how often we confront them we find a new one. When the clouds clear up and the sun shines through we find another cloud to take it’s place. And that is the human condition. It is the desire to find fear and face it that makes us unique. It is our undying affection for challenge and rebirth that makes us interesting.

We shelter ourselves with umbrellas and hats and rain coats so that we cannot feel the sting of the rain, but the rain is rarely as bad as one thinks it will be. It can be unpleasant and cold and lonely, but it lets you know you are alive. Just the same with fear: when we let it touch us, when we do not run away, it has no more power. The more we ignore it or shield ourselves from it, the larger it grows, an ever-present entity in your heart. But when it is unleashed, and we feel it’s full effects, we know it for what it is. We call it by name and look it in the face. We understand what our fear has to say, and we respond in kind.

Do something that requires bravery every single day.

That was the thought I had the other day that changed everything for me. I no longer felt bound by life’s rules. I simply wanted to be brave, to do something that scared me, and to face that thing head on. When we do something that takes courage, we diminish fear. It will never leave our side completely, for if it does we know we are complacent, unchanging, and stagnant. But that cloud will grow smaller, as I have watched mine for the last few years, until it is a friend, a companion, waiting to challenge you.

Don’t let your storm cloud grow so large it changes the lives of others.  And just as importantly, don’t let it cast a shadow over your life. Take control of it. Embrace it. Learn to see the good in it. And when you do, you might find that it has moved on without unleashing the storm you were expecting. Because when we love our fears, we make room for blue sky days.

Model: Mia Hutchinson

Share here a fear that you are currently struggling with.

Share one way that you exhibited bravery in the last month.

My current fear: That my convention won’t be a success. 

Moment of bravery: Emailed new galleries to request exhibitions.

I have been working myself so hard lately that I decided this past weekend was solely dedicated to creating. I went out on Saturday to a lake and did a shoot I had been planning for ages, but it just didn’t work out. It looked beautiful thanks to the mostly-diffused sun behind the storm clouds, but when it came time to edit, the pieces just weren’t coming together. From crunched shadows to awkward composition, I just wasn’t feeling it. So I began to create something else the next day. I decided that in my bedroom I would create a magical little world.

This is the original sketch I drew:

But then, after I shot myself laying down on the floor, I got some ideas. What if I did _______, or what if _________ was more like ________. And so the shoot spiraled from what it was supposed to be to what it could be, and I loved that process of experimentation. When it came time to edit, I was excited to start piecing everything together. But the problem was I had shot it so fast that I didn’t give myself time to think it through. In the end, the pieces simply didn’t match for me. The nude figure with the shadow on the wall seemed not to go together. The hole in the wall worked better, but still, the nude form wasn’t the message I was trying to send.

What is the message you’re trying to send with what you create?
Share a piece that you feel represents that!

I decided to share a backward edit of the photo I am sharing today to emphasize how everything that we do begins as a small idea. It may seem impossible, it might seem like it isn’t worth finishing, and there might be people criticizing the idea or the process; but in the end, when all is said and done, it is not the finished product that means half as much as the journey. An idea stays an idea unless you see it through to the end, and in the end, people judge their lives based on how many ideas became reality.

And if you would, share what you plan on doing this week that will turn an idea into reality. I want to be inspired by your commitment to seeing it through to the end.

It was a heck of a 7 days, and while I’m happy to be home now, I had a really happy time. I think that’s the right word – happy. I was just happy. Every. Single. Day.

Here is a little overview from my creativeLIVE class. I started with some basics of how to dress a model with ace bandages, creepy cloth (freaky fabric), and bed sheets. Shooting all on a dark background for drama, to make the baby powder stand out, and to more easily add a new location into the background, I photographed many different setups using these simple props.

I went out to pick beach grass (could be anything that has structure) in order to put the grass/flowers into some Styrofoam that I purchased the night before. This created a field effect that anyone can use in any form they wish – shooting children, seniors, portraits, etc…all with the convenience of being inside your home or studio. Also wonderful for those who are not around a lot of nature.

The first image in this post was shot during the “baby powder” portion of my creativeLIVE class. I decided to take the simple image of a girl wearing a blue bed sheet further to create a night sky, moon, and strong red flowing dress.

We ended with some cobweb and paint to show how painting someone’s body (any color) can add interesting texture and transform them into a character. I didn’t have enough time to finesse that image (when your producer is holding a “5 minutes!!” sign, one tends to listen). So I’ll give that another go at home and share how I would love for it to turn out. In the meantime, I hope some of these techniques prove fun and useful…and have an inspired weekend!

 What is your favorite $10 or less item to use creatively?

The world owes you nothing.
You owe yourself everything.

If ever I begin feeling sorry for myself because of how unfair life can be, I remind myself of how untrue that is. Life can be harsh, but the way we handle those situations can light our life for years to come. We have truly unlimited power to give ourselves the nourishment we need to move forward, dream big, and succeed at living a beautiful life.

In times of clarity I realize that, if we boil our experiences down to the basics, the lives we live are nothing more than giving ourselves power, or taking that power away. And what I have found, time and time again, is that if we are not empowering ourselves, it is rare that someone will do it for us; or if someone does, it rarely sustains us. We are in charge of managing that immense responsibility for ourselves.

Lift yourself up and see a future made of dreams rather than a past filled with failures. This is the only way forward; all else requires stagnation.

What do you owe yourself that you have been holding back?

Beauty, power, creativity, freedom, love, expression?

1. You may never be as talented as you wish you were. 

Always strive for more. If you reach a place of contentment, growth has stopped.

2. You deserve to FAIL.

Not just that you will fail, but you deserve to fail. Everyone has to fail to understand the sweetness of succeeding. So not only will you fail, but you should want to fail. Failure is how we measure success and how we gain perspective on the world.

3. You will be told NO more than YES.

Understand that every no is another way of getting to where you want to go, and perseverance is key. Hearing no is validation that you are doing something meaningful.

4. You are only as good as your weakest deed.

When you try to be the best version of yourself you gain a better vision of yourself. Think about the best person you can be, and then be that person as much as possible. Change and growth are always within our control. How you see the world and respond to it make you unique, and you can be better than you were before.

5. People WILL NOT like you.

No matter what you do or how kind you are or how great your intentions are, people will not like you. Good. Take it, let that digest, and tell the world you’re okay with that. Love yourself first, and more will follow. Never all, but you’ll have a great foundation of support and love. After all, the saying “You get what you give” is one of the truest I know.

I knew before leaving for this trip that I wanted to shoot a red dress in the dunes. So with that in mind, I packed only one outfit to wear and set out with that restraint (or rather, world of possibilities!) to play with. I had this idea for a few weeks and wasn’t entirely sure how to execute it, given that sand can be a bit tricky to work with, but I was open to this visually looking, perhaps, different than I anticipated…so long as the concept was still there.

I was with my husband so he helped me shoot myself laying on the sand dune against the horizon. I guided him into where he should be standing (or squatting, for a low angle), and I set the exposure, etc. I knew I had clouds to add in later so that wasn’t a problem, but photographing the rest of the sand was.

I was going to create more of a static wall by shooting the side of a dune and then try to photograph sand being thrown up into the air. I would then composite that together to create the illusion of sand falling down a wall. This seemed futile even as I was photographing it as I wondered how it would go together. But then my husband stepped into the sand and we both noticed how the sand created a natural wall with streams of sand running down it. I photographed that, and that is exactly what you see here.

The red of the dress I knew would be contrasted with the sand, but I also chose it for the unique symbolism the color red brings. It feels urgent and deathly to me if used in the right context, and here that seemed very appropriate. Falling sand has long been a symbol of time passing (need I quote from Days of our Lives?), and so I wanted to use that symbol in this image. The sand continues to fall down the wall into darkness, and our subject sits very close to the edge.

A question that comes up is wondering if she too will be consumed by the growing crag and if so, what her fate will be. I love creating images that ask more questions than they answer, and in this image, even I do not have all the answers. I know the questions being posed, and I have my own ideas based on how I’m feeling on different days.

That is the beauty of creating: to continually surprise yourself & always keep yourself reaching for answers to new questions. 

To be able to see your future self as the role model to look up to would be an interesting and truly incredible idea. Envision who you want to be. What would your perfect self behave like, create, give, experience, etc? That person, the potential YOU from the future, could very well be likened to a celebrity, or someone that we hold above ourselves as something to strive for.

I believe that life is far richer and more fulfilling when we understand who we want to be, and then try to become that person. Each part of life can be enhanced because of it, from our work to our personal relationships, to how we experience the world. If we identify our flaws and work to correct them in the future, everything we do will seem brighter.

When I look to my future I cannot help seeing my creative endeavors, whatever they might be. I am not looking at specifics, but simply the idea that I will always create, no matter what the medium. When I think about who I want to be when creating the works of the future, I want to be someone more inspired, more passionate, and with more fire than ever. I want to hold my future self higher than I ever have my current self. I want to paint my future in a positive light and make sure that I grow into the best person I can be.

Celebrity is something that has always been around but, arguably, has taken hold of culture in ways never seen before. It is based around the idea that there are people out there better than we are in some way, and so we look to those people as role models for our future. And absolutely, there are plenty of people out there who deserve that status. But why not try holding yourself up and looking to that person to be inspired.

Do something with me. Humor me for a few minutes today…

Write as though you ARE that future self. Write as though you are YOU, but 10 years from now. What three things would you tell your past self?

You will become content.
You will become self-less.
You will become less competitive.

I look up to my future self instead of someone else who I can never become, because after all, the best person you can ever hope to be is the best version of yourself.